An Unlikely Duo
by Clawed Galaxy Dragon
Summary: She was stubborn and cold, and he was an egotistical and "unfeeling" Irken. The only contact they'd ever had was forced- so why was she beginning to find his presence bearable? And why was he beginning to stop detesting the human feelings he knew he shouldn't have? How could polar opposites ever come together? Perhaps... similarities and differences didn't matter in the long run.
1. A Flower Pot and Detention

Gaz Membrane was angry. No... Gaz Membrane was _furious_.

"And then he _laughed_ at me! He threw a banana at my head, and _laughed_! Can you believe it!"

Gaz growled. Yes, she could believe it. What she couldn't believe was the fact that her dolt of a brother was still ranting to her despite her threat not three minutes prior about feeding him to their father's experimental laser sharks. The two siblings had been trekking home from hi skool for a few minutes now, and Gaz felt a spark of relief at seeing the house in the distance. Just ignore him a little longer, just ignore him a little longer, just ignore him a-

"I KNOW he did something weird to that banana! It was green, and it smelled funny!"

That was _it_.

"AAAHHHHH!"

The scream split the quiet of the suburban neighborhood as Gaz smiled darkly, pleased with herself, while walking away from Dib; who's head had _mysteriously_ become lodged in a planter, mumbles emitting from the ceramic pot as tiny white petunias danced wildly in time with his flailing. Nuisance taken care of for the time being, Gaz tromped up the stairs to her house and up into her room. Opening the door, she pressed a hidden button on her wall and the quiet electrical hum from within the room ceased as her defenses shut off to allow her safe entry. She tossed her bookbag in the corner, disregarding the papers and other various items that spilled out- she'd clean it later. And by "later", she meant "the last possible second tomorrow morning."

Skool today had been hideous, as usual. Packed in a small place with thousands of stupid, sweaty teenagers did the usual thing it did to her already perpetually foul mood; it had worsened it.

Flopping on her bed, she pulled out her Gameslave 5 and flicked on Vampire Piggy Massacre 8. The series had really come a long way over the years; new weapons, upgrades, piggies, slaughter and blood graphics... it all culminated quite nicely into the game she mashed buttons on now. Idly slicing a Vampire Pig-u-lord with a flaming katana, Gaz reflected on the scene in the lunchroom.

In actuality, it had been quite hilarious. She had noticed Zim fumbling around with something from where he sat alone a few tables away towards the end of the period, and had proceeded to watch him in mild interest. Finally, the alien had looked up from whatever he was doing to grin evilly at Dib. Gaz had gotten a front row seat as Zim slung his arm back and launched a banana across the cafeteria, effectively smacking Dib point blank in the face with it and cackling in triumph as his nemesis spluttered in outrage and picked up the offending berry.

Gaz had cracked a secret smile at the interaction. Dib had been endlessly annoying her the entire day, and having the imbecile get hit in the face with an unripe banana had brightened her mood considerably despite it being a skool day. Zim might have been incredibly stupid himself, but at least he was good entertainment when tormenting her older brother.

A hesitant knock at her door caused Gaz to glance up from her game with an expression of burning hatred. The only person it could possibly be was Dib, and he knew the consequences of disturbing her in her sacred domicile. It had better be important.

Hopping off the bed and pausing her Gameslave, Gaz wrenched the door open. Dib stood there at the threshold to her room, flower pot still lodged on his enormous head.

"Gaz? A little help?" His voice echoed oddly from within the pot now that the dirt had fallen out.

"Why, Dib?" she asked in a flat voice, crossing her arms.

"Because I'm hungry, and I can't get it off; its stuck." The teen admitted helplessly, tugging on the pot as a demonstration.

"Hm, alright. One second." Gaz said, and disappeared back into the depths of her room. Searching around, she found what she was looking for under a pile of stuffed bunnies; a sledgehammer.

"Hold still." she directed and Dib nodded, blissfully unaware.

Pulling her arm back, she clubbed the pot with an unnecessary amount of strength. It shattered with a rattle, but she was pretty sure she heard Dib's brain clocking around inside his skull as well until she remembered something incredibly pertinent; Dib had no brain.

"Owwww..." he whined, bending over a little and clutching his head. "Gaz, that freaking hurt." He complained, tottering with his skewed sense of balance.

"I got the pot off didn't I?" She pointed out, and Dib glared sullenly at her.

"...Yes." he conceded after a moment, and turned around and thumped down the stairs and into the kitchen. Dib had been eating like a black hole ever since he finally hit his growth spurt freshman year and gained an impressive few feet in height, and today was no exception. She could hear him noisily thrashing around in the kitchen, and multiple appliances running at once. The toaster binged, the microwave beeped, the fridge "chuf" 'd open, and the pantry door slammed. How Dib managed to create such a tornado of food making and consumption in under twenty seconds Gaz would never comprehend.

Gaz returned to her room once she grew sick of listening to her brother stuff his face and declare around the food "I'm going to go break into Zim's base! He'll never see me coming if I use the trash chute!"

The front door swung shut with a loud click, signaling Dib's dramatic exit. Gaz relaxed a little at the resulting silence; finally, peace and quiet. Sitting down at her desk, she dragged her bookbag over with a foot. Snagging it up off the ground, Gaz turned it upside down and dumped the contents out on the table. Picking a frog up out of the pile of clutter, Gaz placed it atop her shelf where it sat contently, croaking occasionally. She really had no idea when or how that frog had gotten in there, but she liked it immediately; it was mostly quiet, didn't talk about Zim, didn't eat everything in sight, and didn't make her want to fly into a fury of rage.

Nodding in approval at the amphibian, Gaz sorted through the pile of junk in search of her textbook. No, no, no... no, that was her pocketknife, and ooh, there was her keychain- dammit, it was broken! She'd glue it later- no... aha! Wait, no, that's just a worksheet from three years ago...

Picking through the mound, Gaz actually considered cleaning it out for a moment. But the moment passed as she finally saw the corner of her textbook sticking out from under her stuffed bionic whale, and she hauled it free. Sweeping all of her things aside, Gaz plunked the book down on the table and turned it to page 301. Ew, factoring. She _hated_ factoring.

But then again, she hated pretty much everything. People, most foods, most animals, skool, Earth, people, the majority of television shows, freaking _people_... Shaking her purple locks, she set her mind to her work. Battling through the math somewhat successfully, she stopped at the final problem. What the hell was that? four god damn _letters_! Her teacher had said they wouldn't start variable equations that difficult until next week!

Angrily, Gaz gripped her pencil and attempted the problem anyway. Getting an incredibly wrong answer, as expected, she gave up. At least she tried. Shutting the textbook and dooming it to the seventh circle of Hell, Gaz placed it in her now pitifully empty looking bag. Eying the heap of things crammed into the corner of her desk, she relented and began pulling out things she actually needed and putting them in her bag, and putting everything else back where it belonged. She wasn't sloppy like her brother, after all; Gaz had enough dignity to not live in a pig sty.

Task accomplished, she decided she'd wrap up her evening by playing video games on the tv downstairs so Dib would deliberately miss his show. Mysterious Mysteries had gotten hokey-er and hokey-er over the years, but Dib still religiously watched every episode. And when that pattern was disrupted, the small aneurysms that he underwent were most amusing. Picking the frog up off her shelf where it had remained placidly for the better part of an hour, Gaz went downstairs and opened the back door to let it hop away into the fading afternoon light. Seriously though, how _had_ that gotten mixed in with her things...?

Having slaughtered her enemies faithfully for over three hours now, the door swinging abruptly open startled her.

There on the front porch in the darkness of the evening stood Zim in his human disguise, holding a singed looking and smoking Dib by the scruff of his coat. Despite being almost a head or so shorter, Zim's uncanny strength enabled him to manhandle the human rather easily. The Irken managed to seem annoyed and satisfied all at once as he shook Dib a little, causing the crispy human to frown even more bitterly as his legs dangled a bit off the ground.

"I believe this is yours." He sneered, depositing Dib on the welcome mat and marching away with his typical lock-kneed gait.

Gaz glanced uncaringly over at her brother's form that still lay in a sprawled mess on the ground.

"Gnomes?"

"No."

"Laser weasels?"

"Nu uh."

"Ray gun?"

"No, that was last time."

"I give up."

"Gir."

"Gir?" Gaz repeated, scrunching her face up as she tried to recall why the name was familiar to her.

"That annoying little blue robot." Dib supplied, scooting around on the floor a little as though he didn't want to pick himself up just yet. He still smoldered a little, and Gaz waved away the smell of burnt-ness that wafted off of him.

"Oh, him." Gaz realized, a memory of her angrily dancing with the little android in Zim's labs dredging itself up from years past. "He did that to you? I thought all he did was ignore Zim and bake cakes and stuff." She queried uninterestedly, turning back to her game. Dib wasn't bleeding or dying, so any concern on her part was entirely unneeded.

"I guess this one time he had a lucid moment of obedience. Because all the other times Zim's told him to dispose of me, he's hugged me or screamed or blasted out of the room or whatever." Dib agreed, scraping himself off the floor with a grunt.

"Hm. It's too bad he only managed to shoot you a little bit." Gaz remarked coldly, blowing up an enemy. Dib left the room, used to the callousness. Increased time with the swine children in skool had only made her worse with age, and she bitterly rejected any form of interaction with people she deemed "irreversibly irritating."

...Which, was pretty much everyone.

Rolling her eyes at her brother's stupidity, she sliced one enemy in half with a rusty chainsaw. Dib and Zim had lost a lot of their animosity over the years, and Gaz swore they actually talked civilly on occasion when they thought nobody was looking. They just had too much in common to remain the same bitter enemies they initially were, and that was fine for Gaz; if it meant a few less screaming matches and less puddle-splash collateral damage, she could tolerate their odd hate/friend relationship.

Playing late into the night, Gaz set a new highscore before turning in. As usual.

* * *

"Gaz! Hey, Gaz. Watch this." Dib poked at her and said craftily, and Gaz debated on ripping his arms off and making him eat them. Sparing a cross glance up from her game, she saw Dib tossing an apple from palm to palm and staring in Zim's direction with a look of revenge evident on his face.

Personally, Gaz had a feeling the fruit throwing trend would continue on into the skool year endlessly if Dib tossed the apple now, but she shrugged and decided to watch. As long as none of the fruit ever hit her, why not let the two morons pummel each other with plant babies?

Dib pulled his arm back like Zim had the day before, and chucked it at the Irken's head with surprisingly good aim. A clawed hand shot up and smacked the red hurtling projectile away an instant before it thocked him in the skull, and Zim slowly dragged his eyes up from his tray. Dib and him locked glares, and Gaz could practically _feel_ the stupid childish rivalry between the two of them crackling in the air.

The bell rang, and Zim stood up instantly and tossed his untouched tray in a nearby trashcan before stomping over to Dib. "You filthy human! How dare you throw that... that _tree growth _at ZIM'S mighty head!" The alien screamed angrily, and before Dib could launch into a tirade about how Zim had started it first, Gaz tugged his trench coat sleeve angrily causing him to bend down to her level and stumble a bit.

"Dib, I couldn't get this problem last night and I know you took this class last year. Do this problem for me or I'll make you pay _dearly_." Gaz threatened, thrusting her textbook in Dib's face.

The teenager floundered a bit, awkwardly accepting the book and squinting at the problem as students milled past them. "Hm...factoring, huh? Well...I remember some of it, but this has a bunch of variables, and uh... it-it's been a while, you know? So... uh..." Dib's attempt at saying he didn't know the answer was almost as pitiful as the fact that he didn't know it. (he had likely skipped that particular day to chase Zim around or something else dumb.)

Zim had been silently watching the exchange, and upon Dib's reluctant stammering, pushed the human aside and snatched the textbook out of his hands. "Hmph. Dib stink, you are normally not completely hopeless at math. I find your lack of ability to do this problem absolutely PATHETIC! Pathetic Earth filth!" Zim jeered at Dib, before also looking at the problem.

"Zim is in Calculus III _Honors_ currently. There is NOTHING my MIGHTY BRAIN cannot compute!" The Irken stated superiorly, shaking a fist at Dib mockingly.

"So what is it? We're all going to be late if you don't just shut the hell up and tell me the answer so we can go." Gaz grouched, and Zim glared at her lightly for a moment before snapping the book shut.

The two beings glared at each other, as though testing the waters. Amber eyes hidden partially by purple bangs bored into fake lavendar irises narrowed in either contemplation or contempt; she couldn't tell which.

"3x(x squared + 2x – 5)." Zim answered in a clipped voice after the battle of wills ended with him looking away for a fraction of a second.

"_Thank_ you." Gaz drew out the words in fake graciousness, taking the book from Zim's gloved hand. Now that she had the answer, she could most likely work the problem out on her own.

"It is nothing before me, puny child of meat and hair. For I am ZIM! Ruler of all equations!" The Irken brushed the thanks off, not noticing Dib's shocked look at Gaz bothering to "thank" someone- anyone- in the first place.

"In hi skool, that's called a "nerd." Dib informed Zim flatly, and the two of them bickered behind Gaz the entire way to class. Growling, she sped up through the crowd to escape the brain cell-destroying dispute. People took easy notice of her as she stalked by, and as soon as it clicked in their dull little brains who she was, they hastily shuffled aside to let her through. Pleased at the fear she so easily instilled in the dimwits, Gaz ducked into her classroom, leaving the squabbling teenagers behind in the hall. The sound of their argument passed by the closed door and faded, and the girl rolled her eyes; typical Zim and Dib.

Seating herself in her usual place at the back of the classroom, Gaz pulled out her notebook and began to doodle aimlessly as the teacher started up the class. She honestly couldn't give two shits about math, because a lot of what was taught in the classroom she picked up on quickly enough to warrant sitting around for the rest of the class pointless. She kept it under wraps as best she could, so as not to be found _quite_ as weird as her brother, but calculations and science came easily to her.

_"I guess it runs in the family." _She mused. Smirking to herself, Gaz doodled Dib being eaten by an alligator. shading in the scales and putting a little blood for added effect, she didn't notice the teacher staring expectantly at her.

"Gaz? Are you drawing someone being eaten by a badger again?" The obnoxious voice of her teacher grated against her ears from the front of the classroom.

"No. Its an alligator today." Gaz remarked rudely, going back to drawing.

Her teacher huffed angrily, and crossed his arms. "Detention. Again." he said in a monotone voice, and Gaz waved a hand dismissively without looking up. They went through this routine at least three times a week, and usually as long as Gaz attended at least half of one of the given detentions, her teacher would simply let it slide. She was given leniency likely due to her grades, she assumed. Otherwise she'd have been issued countless referrals by now.

Passing the class half listening and half drawing, Gaz packed up her things before the bell sounded and tapped her fingernails impatiently on the desk. At last it rang, and she left the math classroom filled with smelly people and entered the detention hall a few doors down as per usual. What was not usual, however, was the green skinned alien walking stiffly into the room a few minutes after her. Noticing the only human in perhaps the entire skool that he knew other than Dib, Zim took a seat at the desk beside her.

"What are you doing here, human?" He asked curiously, pulling out a sheet of paper and a pencil from his strange backpack thing and placing them on the desk while waiting for her answer.

"My name is Gaz, you moronic space fungus." The girl hissed venomously, shooting Zim a pissed off look. He had better not annoy her the entire half hour she was supposed to stay here.

Zim seemed a little taken aback for a moment, but quickly recovered with an incredibly mature tongue sticking out at her. Ignoring the childish display, Gaz answered his question. "I'm here at least once a week every week. It's stupid Mr. Dulberry's fault every time- I was only drawing this time around."

Zim blinked a moment, opening his mouth to ask what she meant by "this time", but seemed to think better of it and shut it again.

"Why are you here? I've never seen you in detention before." Gaz asked, pulling out her own writing supplies. She could ignore the alien after her curiosity was sated.

Zim blew out a puff of air angily, and ran a had through his wig a little. "_Apparently_," he began sarcastically "punching a worm baby so hard they vomit is frowned upon."

Gaz hid her grin behind a piece of hair. "And you only got a detention for that?" She asked in disbelief. That should have deserved suspension, or worse.

"It was a punch of _justice!_" Zim protested, making a fist. "He called me a...a... it sounded like "doosbag" in the middle of the lesson!"

Gaz had to swallow a rare laugh that almost escaped. Zim had punched someone for calling him something he didn't even understand? Now that was pretty funny. Pathetic, but funny.

Looking away from the alien's indignant profile, Gaz began working on a new masterpiece; Dib being eaten by a giant Africanized Killer Bee. She had gone through the typical menagerie of dangerous animals killing Dib- bears, sharks, wolves, giant squids, bigfoots (just to spite him), piranhas... and she was beginning to run out of creatures. So, choosing more unconventional animal murderers became a necessity.

Zim seemed to have taken her attention to her art as an end to the conversation, so he began writing things upon his own paper as the detention hall teacher stomped into the room. The gigantic whale of a lady with a decidedly awful perm heaved her bulk over to the teacher's desk at the front corner of the room and collapsed into it, breath wheezing in and out from the mere exertion of moving.

"Now you horrible little deviants..._wheeze_... I mean, children, you are here because..._huff_... you are unable to behave according to this institution's requirements..._gasp_... as such, there will be no talking, no sleeping, no eating..._wheeze_...no laughing, and no other sounds. Am I clear?" Here the woman broke off to heave a couple more disgusting sounding breaths of air, before looking over the students collected in the class.

A couple yes's eked out, and from Zim a "Yes sir." made her narrow her eyes to the point where they almost disappeared into her pudgy face rolls. Gaz was aware the lady knew her well enough to not expect any form of acknowledgement from the dark teen, and Gaz didn't even bat an eyelash at the commands. In a few minutes, all those rules would be broken anyway.

"Good. Now I'm going to go drown my sorrows in a bowl of Coco Splodeys. BEHAVE!" The whale woman yelled, and reached into the minifridge under the desk and pulled out her favorite cereal.

That proved to be the cue to let all hell break loose, as the idiotic teenagers instantly began talking and moving around. Gaz colored in the stinger of the bee which was lodged in Dib's comically enormous head as she tuned out as much of the inconsequential gossip around her as she could.

_"Did you talk to Richie yet? Like, omg, you totally have to! He's had his eye on you for almost a whole day now, gurl! It must be love!"_

_"Hey, why weren't you online last night playing Call of Booty, man? You promised you'd be on!"_

_"Look at that girl over there...she's here like every week, but she never says or really does anything. She's, like, creepy."_

That last whisper managed to catch her attention despite herself, and Gaz tried unsuccessfully to tune the bimbo's odious voice out.

_"And it looks like that Zip kid knows her too. Figures; freaks gotta stick together. I wouldn't want to get on her bad side though- she looks like she'd, like, kill me or something."_

Gaz had to embrace the bloom of satisfaction created by that statement. So, her reputation from even elementary and middle skool had yet to fade. She was still the doom queen, and would always be. And right now, a certain girl was simply _begging_ to be doomed.

Turning only her head around from her seat, Gaz pinned the blonde ditz with a soul destroying glare. She swore she saw the girl shrink up a little in terror, and after keeping her gaze fixed for just a few more uncomfortable moments, she returned to her drawing. Finishing it up within a few minutes, Gaz looked it over and nodded. It was definitely good enough to add to her "Unfortunate Events Happening to Dib" notebook.

Pulling said notebook out, as Gaz went to add her newest addition in, she didn't notice the stare she was getting from the desk beside her. Tucking the bee picture in between the shark and the tiger, she was about to slip it back into her bag when a hand shot out and snatched it away with lightning speed.

Staring at the place where her notebook had been in her hands a second prior, Gaz slowly looked up and over to see Zim leafing through it with a barely contained expression of glee.

How _dare_ he. Nobody even so much as attempted to touch her things, _ever_. _Nobody_.

Had they not been in detention hall, Zim would have been vaporized into a little pile of soot from the sheer strength of her hate right then. As it was, all she could do was quiver in silent rage and doom the alien in the confines of her mind. As soon as they were released from here, he would be in a world of nightmarish pain.

He seemed oblivious to the lurking threat however, as he thumbed through the pages. Each picture seemed to amuse him even more than the last, and he was making a visible attempt to hold in his telltale maniacal laughter. Seeming disappointed when he reached the end of the book (Dib being gored by an elephant), he finally looked up to pass the journal back to Gaz.

And promptly felt his squeedly spooch wither in terror.

* * *

Ok, so this is one of my new stories gais. :D An eventual Zagr, bear with me for this first chapter; I gotta set the scene and all, you know? And seriously, review and tell me what you think of Gaz! She's actually harder to write than I anticipated, and I want to keep her (mostly) in character.


	2. A Plan, and an Unplanned Revelation

Gaz was mashing buttons on her Gameslave in fury, deliberately keeping her attention trained on murdering everything in sight virtually- she didn't want to strangle Zim in the middle of detention, after all. That'd just get her another detention.

Said alien was idly staring at a rather interesting knot in the wood of his desk. He knew there'd be hell to pay once detention let out, and was not looking forward to dealing with the Dib-sister. She could never actually hurt him- his military training was _far_ too superior to even allow her so much as a successful right hook- but the fact that he'd have to watch his back for the next few days irked him. He should be at odds with the _Dib_, not his younger sister.

Not so much younger, granted. Only a year behind the two of them, Gaz was admittedly ahead of them in maturity. She too had grown a few feet in height, but thankfully remained shorter than what Zim had gained after he'd removed the growth inhibitor in his Pak.

Hell, what a day that had been. Banished from his race, the discovery of a defection in his Pak that allowed emotions typically blocked through, reprogramming the growth inhibiting code, getting used to the idea that he was stuck on Earth eternally with no reason to destroy it... pushing the thoughts away and making scratch marks on the desk in boredom, Zim considered the Gaz human a moment.

_"The Dib-sister has become more terrifying with age." _he thought with a shudder, remembering the look of pure darkness she had sent him after wrenching her notebook back. _"If she was Irken, what a soldier she'd make. She could just __look__ at her foes and they'd quail before her. If looks could kill, that is."_ Zim pondered, wondering what the foolish human female would try to do to him in a few minutes. Shrugging, he dismissed his concern. She was only an unimportant worm baby, in the end.

Resuming writing his mission log in Irken script, Zim jotted in a little note about how he would defeat a chillingly scary earth child in 1600 hours. Heh, that pathetic little dirt worm's look of outrage when he outfought her would be deliciously-

_"WHACK!"_

Zim sat stupidly dazed, pencil hanging limply in his grip as students around him flooded out the door at the grunt of the lard teacher. Bringing up a gloved hand to gingerly rub his jawline, he slowly looked to his left, things still not adding up in his brain.

Had he just been _punched_? By _Gaz_?

"That's for touching my stuff. But I'm not done dealing revenge for such a transgression- I'd watch my back if I were you, stupid space alien." With that warning, Gaz Membrane whipped around and stepped fluidly out of the classroom, leaving Zim to collect his wits alone. A couple students had stopped and watched the right hook, and were wearing expressions that were a mixture of fear of Gaz and amusement at Zim's situation. Ignoring the filth children, he swept up his belongings and stormed out of the classroom.

_Nobody_ punched an Irken Elite, exiled or not.

Entering the fluorescently lit crummy hallway, Zim looked to his left. The main passageway was empty aside from the mass of detention students surging towards the front exit, but Zim knew better; Gaz would never put herself anywhere near that disgusting horde willingly. Turning down a side hall that led to the back exit, he found what he was looking for and snarled.

The back of Gaz's purple hair moved slightly as she walked, and her bookbag was slung lazily over one shoulder and swayed with her gait. She was completely unaware of the Irken stalking up behind her, and by the time she noticed the extra shadow on the tiled floor, it was too late.

Zim pinned her up against a locker with the flat of one of his spider legs, and had his arms crossed as he leveled a glare at her. "You cheated." he stated simply, ghosting his fingers over the slightly throbbing spot on his jaw. His body was already repairing itself, but the fact that the girl had even attempted to hit him in the first place stung his pride more than the punch had stung his face.

Gaz shot Zim her own glare, and pushed a little at the unbudging leg across her stomach. "There were never any rules. You're only here because you can't stand the fact that a human female punched a "mighty Irken Invader" square in the face." Gaz taunted, easily masking her grimace when Zim increased the force on his spider leg. Sucking in a strained breath, she gave Zim a derisive glower. "I mean, even Dib's never really hit you. Shouldn't you be off trying to infuriate him somewhere?" She added, using more strength to push the leg back out of her middle.

Zim paused at this and cocked his head, regarding the silently struggling human. She was right on all accounts. Especially about bothering the Dib. In fact...

"Come." He ordered in a tight voice, replacing his spider leg within his Pak and marching ahead of Gaz to the doors. Rather than waste her breath questioning the Irken, Gaz merely huffed an aggravated sigh and followed. The two left the shoddy hi skool and began walking the streets, and Gaz eventually realized they were en route to Zim's base.

"Why are we going to your house?" she asked flatly, berating herself for listening to him in the first place. Zim didn't answer for a moment, and Gaz began inspecting the neighboring yards. There were plenty of nice flowerpots to choose from, and Zim was just _asking_ to be fused with one.

"Because. What is Dib's one main goal in life?" The Irken answered her question with a question, and Gaz frowned but decided to play along for the time being.

"To find out everything about you and stop you from taking over the Earth, I guess. And probably to capture you in the process." Gaz hazarded an accurate guess, watching the odd green and purple house come into view as they rounded a corner. "What does that have to do with anything, Zim?"

"Everything, Gaz human! Everything!" Zim looked around and locked eyes with her, waving his arms emphatically as though she was missing some major point. "Because, how irate would it make the Dib monkey if his own sister- who doesn't even care about the fate of the world by my hands- knew everything he wished he knew?"

Gaz stopped walking and crossed her arms, causing the alien to halt as well and look back at her. "So you're using me to piss Dib off?" She guessed, and Zim hesitantly nodded. Would she attack him for this as well?

A couple moments passed tensely, and Gaz finally relaxed a little. "Well... I _guess_ I'm ok with that. Dib did take the tv the other day, and I still haven't gotten him back for it... but it had better make him super mad!" She demanded darkly, pushing past the alien a little and heading for his front door.

She never made it that far on her own, as a gray and blue android tumbled down the walkway through a hole it had blasted through the door with a clang of metal parts. Looking up, it squinted at her for a minute before its face split into a wide grin.

"Gazzy!" it screeched, and before she could threaten the bot with a painful fiery death, it had picked her up and dragged her inside with an insane giggle. Being dumped unceremoniously on the old, ripped-looking pink couch, Gaz glared angrily at Gir. The robot stood in front of her waving idiotically, it's pink tongue sticking out. Zim had caught up and shut the door behind them, and was shaking his head at his sidekick's ineptness.

"Gir, this is Gaz. Gaz, this is Gir- don't destroy him. I need him." Zim introduced hastily, watching Gaz swat at the android as it tried to hug her.

"Yeah, I know. And what do you need him for? He's clearly dysfunctional." Gaz asked, grabbing Gir's two little metal arms and pinning them to his sides.

Zim spun around from whatever he was fiddling with by the lamp table, and fixed her with a burning look of anger. "He is _not dysfunctional_. Gir works just fine... mostly." He hissed, turning back around after biting his sentence off.

Gaz watched his stiff back for a moment, wondering what nerve she'd hit. Dysfunctional? Why would Zim be so bothered by something like that?

Her musings were interrupted as Zim stepped aside and the table flipped up into the wall, and a platform slid away from the floor to reveal a secret elevator. Making a wordless motion to join him, Gaz stood up from the couch and tucked Gir under her arm like a football to keep him still. Stepping on the floating disc beside Zim, Gaz asked herself if making Dib mad was worth putting up with the megalomaniacal space freak. The Irken had his gaze trained unmovingly ahead at the wall of the elevator, and was being mostly quiet. So, yes, Gaz reasoned- she could tolerate him if he remained like this.

Gir had wriggled out of her grasp and was crawling around and through Zim's feet, and the alien had reached down and seemed to be absently patting the android's head while lost in thought. Gaz almost smiled at the unconscious interaction; it was sort of... cute, in a way. Noticing that Zim had yet to remove the asinine disguise he wore in public, she reached up and tugged his wig off. This met with an expected yelp of protest, but upon seeing the teen's imploring stare, Zim grumbled and took out his contacts as well.

Snatching the wig from her hands, Zim turned his ruby eyes up to meet Gaz's amber ones. _"So unlike the Dib's..." _he thought, studying them in interest. _"Not filled with the same hate. A different emotion of some sort lingers there- probably some form of detestation. Although..."_

_"What an intriguing red color... reminds me of the blood on Vampire Piggy Hunter 8." _Gaz caught herself thinking, and broke the gaze under the pretense of shooing Gir away from her own legs. Honestly, she had always liked Zim better out of costume anyway- he looked less awkward and dumb with his real eyes free to roam where they wished, and his antennae free to move and twitch at will.

At last the elevator touched down in the depths of the base and Zim stepped off, Gir clinging to his leg and giggling quietly. Following the alien (who's walk was a little lopsided due to the small metal robot clinging to his boot,) Gaz tried not to be impressed by the multitude of technology humming with life around her. It was almost inconceivable that Zim was so incompetent he couldn't take over the Earth even with all this... this _stuff_ at his disposal.

"Impressive, no? It just proves how TRULY AMAZING Irkens are." Zim boasted upon seeing her surveyal of the base, and stepped through a metal door that opened with a hiss of air at the touch of his palm on a wall scanner. Gaz rolled her eyes and debated making a snide comment about his inability to use said technology, but a glance at Zim's inhuman eyes gave her pause. He was doing what he always did; praising his race and by extension, himself. So why did he seem so downcast about it?

"This is my _incredible_ computer mainframe. Be jealous!" Zim stated, sweeping an arm around to encompass the room that consisted mostly of a computer screen and large keyboard with strange symbols and buttons.

Gaz raised an eyebrow, not sure what to expect. "What's so incredible about it?" she asked blandly, sizing the computer up. It looked like any normal Earth computer, aside from the obvious size and keyboard differences. She knew it could speak, but other from that, what made it so spectacular?

"Well...it...uh..." Zim floundered around a bit, unsure of how to answer. "Its my computer. A demonstration will suffice, worm baby." he answered vaguely, and looked up to an indeterminable spot on the ceiling. "Computer?" he called out, voice ringing in the emptiness of the room. "Bring me... eh... bring me one of the laser weasels!" Zim fished around for a command, and a beeping ensued once he finished speaking. A few seconds of silence passed, and right before Gaz could open her mouth to tell Zim what a moron he was, a hole in the ceiling opened up.

Out from it dropped a shiny furry thing, and it plopped on the Irken's head heavily. Zim stumbled at the unexpected weight, but that was the least of his concerns as the weasel began to rabidly claw at him. Gir had toddled over to Gaz and was sitting on her head as he watched his master get mauled, clapping every so often when Zim let out a particularly excruciating sound of pain.

"COMPUTER! COMPUTER, REMOVE THE WEASEL!" Zim screamed, clawing back at the animal as a few laser blasts went off from one of the creature's eyes. A mechanical hand extended down from the ceiling and scooped the animal up, and Zim fell quiet aside from a few hisses of pain as he trailed his fingers around on his head in search of bite and claw wounds.

So it was with great surprise that he paused in his self-examination to look up in befuddlement at Gaz, who had doubled over laughing alongside Gir. She had her arms clasped around herself as though to contain her laughter, and she would pause for a large whoosh of breath every few seconds and to wipe at her eyes. Zim opened his mouth to interrupt, but snapped it shut as Gaz looked at his chewed up head and shook with mirth all over again.

"_That_ was what your mighty technology is good for? Man, I sure am impressed, Zim." Gaz observed sarcastically inbetween chuckles, trying to regain control of herself. She hadn't found anything that hilarious since Dib had been assaulted by a ten foot tall platybear, also of Zim's making.

"Grrr... _no!_ It does other stuff too." Zim objected, simultaneously asking himself why he was defending his technology- it clearly had an attitude problem, and had deliberately dropped that rabid ball of rabies on him intentionally. Scrapes already closing up, Zim straightened his posture instinctively and tapped his foot.

Gaz had finally stopped laughing at his expense, but was now fiddling with buttons on the keyboard. Zim watched her with a half interested half condescending expression. That was _Irken_ technology. It would take her years to figure out how to even-

"Login accepted."

"Huurrggh!" Zim drew out a noise of utter disbelief as Gaz began nosing through his files. But... his password had been unbreakable!

"Really? "Zim is amazing"? That's seriously all you could come up with for a password?" Gaz snorted derisively, managing to navigate the computer decently enough. The monitor and keyboard had altered themselves to display everything in English, which Gaz attributed to the fact that she was the one operating the system. Had Zim been in her place, everything would undoubtedly be in that odd blocky looking language of his. The Irken stood sullenly beside Gaz, pouting at her easy success with his technology. Stupid, infuriating, smart, evil little...

"Wh- hey, don't click that!" Zim's frantic warning came a second too late as Gaz opened a file dated from a few years or so ago.

The playback started, and Zim stood frozen as he relived the worst moment of his life.

The two faces of his ex leaders flashed on the screen, Tallest Red's face projecting an irritated glare and Tallest Purple's face lit with an expression of glee.

"Zim, _status report_." The command was ground out, and Purple smothered a laugh in the background.

"The mission goes smoothly, my tallests. Smoother even than the belly of a Xleebingian." Zim's voice echoed, and the monitor displayed a video feed in the corner of Zim that seemed to have been taped from some point on the wall of the room. The significantly shorter Irken was saluting proudly, chest puffed out importantly as Gir spasmed on the floor behind him while clinging to a giant hotdog. "I have just completed a MASTERFUL plan to destroy the humans by using a U.S mail employee and a commandeered weenie truck. I will-"

The enthusiastic alien was cut off by the red eyed Irken shaking his head and waving a hand, repeating "No, no, no." The leaders both looked up and shared a knowing glance, and Red cleared his throat. "_Invader_ Zim." he stated, placing a peculiar emphasis on "invader."

"Yes, my tallest?" Zim practically sang, blinking expectantly.

"You're terrible." Red said simply.

Zim brightened considerably, countenance glowing as though he'd just been promoted to a nonexistent rank above even Invader. "Oh THANK YOU my tallest! I know I am!" he opened his mouth to go on, but what the purple eyed alien said next wiped the cheery look clean off his face.

"No, Zim, we mean you're just...awful. You blew up your own planet, you quit being exiled, you interrupted Operation Impending Doom II, and even when we sent you to a fake planet in the hopes you'd fly into a sun or something, you couldn't conquer it." Purple chimed in from behind Red, losing his humorous expression.

Zim stammered for a moment, clearly at a loss, before weakly whispering "But... the weenie truck plan will surely..."

"No, Zim. It won't work. Nothing you ever do works- haven't you noticed that by now?" Red insisted, eyes narrowing at the small Invader. "And honestly, we're sick of dealing with you. Soooo, you are henceforth exiled on the charges of being a defective, being a complete failure, and _constantly annoying the hell out of us._ Irken armada, signing off." The last comment was made in a snide imitation of Zim's higher pitched voice, and giggling and a "yes!" in the background was heard before the transmission was cut.

The monitor in the room flickered off, and Gaz carefully looked over her shoulder at Zim. She had the uncanny sense that she had seen something nobody was ever meant to see, and felt a very real flash of fear dart through her. God forbid Zim flew off the handle while she was still around...

The Irken was standing rigidly, maroon eyes fixed on the dark screen as though it still played memories only he could see. His hands were balled into fists and his antennae drooped, and even Gir had stopped being obnoxious as he gave a sad frown in his master's direction. "The last time I saw those big ol' tall guys, mastah got real sad." it whispered quietly in Gaz's ear, but she gave no reaction. Zim was flashing from emotion to emotion, none of them boding well- anger morphed into sadness, and sadness into hurt. The cycle repeated a few times, before Zim finally settled on an odd form of quiet contemplation.

Unsure, Gaz picked up Gir and sat him on her shoulder as she walked slowly towards Zim. The android, however nutty and annoying, gave her a sense of safety and peace she wouldn't expect to find in such a scatterbrained creation. "... Zim?" she finally tried, stopping a cautious distance from the Irken.

"I... I'm a defective, you know. Not like other Irkens." Zim informed her, never taking his eyes from the blank screen as he tilted his head to the side. Gaz remained silent, willing him to continue. An odd place in her heart was pricking painfully, and she failed at any attempt to squelch it. She had never experienced sympathy to this degree before, and it was strange feeling anything besides dislike and anger for something else that breathed the same oxygen as her. "A few days after this transmission, when I... came around, I ran a diagnostic on my Pak. And do you know what I found? _Do you know what I found?_" Zim demanded, finally meeting Gaz's stare.

"What...?" She dared to ask, flinching a little from the tortured look in the depths of his eyes. Geez, she seriously hadn't meant to do _this_ to Zim, even if she had sworn revenge for the notebook theft. Nobody deserved this.

"Multiple things, actually. A growth inhibitor, to prevent my race from growing tall enough to usurp Red and Purple. A loyalty code to the tallest, which I promptly did away with as well. And, in my Pak uniquely, a failed emotion block." Zim admitted, line of sight still boring into Gaz's. "But do you want to know the best part?" he questioned in a menacingly quiet tone, taking a step closer.

Gaz took a step back in response, but remained silent.

"The best part... is that the emotion block defection was recent to that point in time. Do you know what that means, Gaz?" Zim hissed, eyes narrowing.

Gaz shook her head and clutched Gir a little tighter. The tiny robot may have been stupid, but it would never let Zim do anything to her.

"It means that I can't even blame my incompetence on the defection. All those years spent fighting with your moose-headed brother..." Zim ground out, and stopped short when he realized he'd managed to pace up to Gaz so close during his rant that they were a mere foot apart. Observing the distance between them dully, he made no attempt to back up. Rather, he leaned in closer searchingly, as though the solution to his dilemma was somewhere pasted onto the human's face.

Gaz frowned and edged away, studying him in return. His red orbs were squinted a bit in concentration, and his antennae were pulled up in interest.

Meeting his unnatural eyes, Gaz shifted Gir on her shoulder a bit. "So you're incompetent. Big deal. So are millions of other people- don't whine to me about not being good enough when you're one of the smartest people stuck on a planet of stinky apes." She said with a hard edge to her voice, pleased when Zim backed off a little.

"How do you do it, human?" he asked, intrigued by something she couldn't put her finger on.

"Do what?" She replied, delicately lowering an eyebrow in confusion.

Zim tossed his hands up as though in surrender, gesturing to his Pak. "Deal with... feeling. Its irritating. Like having an itch you aren't allowed to scratch."

"Oh. That." Gaz murmured, crossing her arms and running her amber eyes over Zim's slightly hunched profile. "There's no easy answer, not for you. Just... experience everything, I guess. Learn to deal with it. And I should go- Dib will be freaking out by now." Gaz gave the tidbit of advice she pulled out of nowhere to the Irken, before skirting around him and swiftly heading for the elevator. Why was Zim asking her about emotions? Did he seriously think she dealt with a wide enough range of them to actually be of help?

"Scary lady." The poke in her neck irritated the girl, and she swatted at Gir to get him to stop.

"_Scary lady_." He repeated, more insistently.

"What?" Gaz grumbled finally, meeting his odd cyan gaze.

"Mastah wants to ask you somethin' still." The android notified her, and Gaz looked over her shoulder to see Zim following her across the room with his penetrating red eyes. Gaz waited a few seconds, allowing the Irken a chance to collect his thoughts. How Gir knew he had more to say at all was a mystery, but Gaz assumed that after living with the insufferable alien for several years, one was able to pick up on more subtle nuances of his personality. The nuances that didn't involve screaming about himself, that was.

"Human... return tomorrow." Zim instructed at last, giving up on whatever it was he was originally trying to put into words.

Gaz grunted, but she knew the alien would understand.

Hopefully tomorrow he would manage to have his shit together enough to actually make his dumb plan work.


	3. Tumultuous Thoughts

So, Zim wasn't a real Invader.

That explained the lack of horrible explosions originating from his place as of the past few years; Dib had been fighting with an enemy who only kept up appearances rather than admit he'd been stripped of his mission. In a way, Gaz had to admire the alien- his characteristic pride was so extensive, he wouldn't even allow his greatest enemy to know he wasn't technically an enemy any longer.

Kicking a pebble as she traveled home at a leisurely pace, she wondered why the alien still even bothered to attend hi skool. He and Dib would both be graduating in a year or so, so it made sense to stick it out until the end at this point- but why not simply disappear years ago when he first found out?

_"He's got nothing else." _Gaz thought insightfully, trying to put herself in the Irken's place. If he left Earth, or actually managed to destroy it, what would he do then? He couldn't return to his people, that much was clear.

_"I kinda feel sorry for him. He __**is **__annoying sometimes with all the screaming and crap, but other times I guess he's not so bad." _Gaz admitted to herself with difficulty, feeling sick at the fact that she'd just realized something alive on this planet didn't make her want to tear her eyeballs out and eat them. Well, not all the time anyway.

Stepping past the electricity field Dib had installed ages ago, Gaz opened her front door and prepared herself for the barrage of idiocy that would no doubt assault her ears in 3... 2... 1...

"Gaz! Where were you!? We usually walk home together, but you weren't at the corner today! You didn't get _another_ detention, did you?" Dib spouted in a rush, dashing over to his sister and hovering by her shoulder. Gaz resisted the urge to rip his spleen out through his foot, and glared up at him. She hated the height difference between them now that they were older.

"I'm fine, Dib. I was at Zim's." She answered nonchalantly, pushing past her brother and listening carefully for his flabbergasted reaction.

She heard it a few seconds later, and grinned. There was a dying whale sort of noise as Dib's breath eked out slowly, accompanied by a popping sound like a fish opening and closing its mouth in disbelief. A rustle of fabric indicated he had likely pinched himself, and the tread of boots behind her told her she wasn't going to get away with this without a fight.

"Z... Zim's...? Gaz, he's an ALIEN. He wants to destroy the Earth! He's gonna-"

"Dib." Gaz stated, placing enough emphasis on his name to get him to stop mid rant with his finger still pointing dramatically in the air. "I don't care _what_ Zim is. He's actually not that bad- not as annoying as you are, in any case. And Dib, after all these years, I thought you would have picked up on this by now..." Gaz paused and cut Dib an icy glare over her shoulder, making him swallow nervously. "I don't _care_ about the Earth. When has it ever given me a reason to care? _Who_ has ever given me a reason to care?"

Dib fell silent, but said shakily "W-well... there's me and dad-"

"Dad?" Gaz scoffed, making her way into the kitchen and tossing her bag on the table while she searched for a soda in the fridge. "When has Dad ever given two shits about us, Dib? Huh?"

Dib again made the goldfish mouth, but frowned as he leaned in the doorway and watched Gaz bustle around cursing at the last soda far away on the back shelf in the top. "Look, Gaz, I know dad's not around a lot-" a flat look from Gaz over the top of the refrigerator door made Dib pause and sigh, "ok, not around _ever_, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care about us. He's just... a busy guy." Dib finished weakly, walking over to Gaz and gently pushing her aside. Reaching into the back of the fridge and grabbing the soda, he handed it to his sister and received grudging thanks.

"I know all that, Dib. That doesn't make it any less... hard, though." She said quietly, and Dib nodded in understanding.

Following her out into the living room as she booted up "_Machine Gun Squid Apocalypse 2_" and flopped on the couch with the controller, Dib crossed his arms. "You still haven't told me why you were at Zim's." He prodded, and his forehead creased when Gaz smirked minutely.

"To annoy you, plain and simple. Zim's been telling me things you'd _kill_ to know about him, because he knows I'd never tell you. And we both enjoy watching you squirm."

Dib again made the dying whale noise as his face turned a slight shade of red. "GAZ, come on! What did he tell you!? Details about his race? Any weird alien weaknesses? Why the hell he has a floating purple doomsday moose!?" Dib was practically foaming at the mouth as he flailed around in agony, and Gaz's smirk grew. She honestly didn't' know any of that shit, but it was exponentially more fun to keep Dib in the dark. Besides, she'd probably find all that out in the following days anyway if Zim stopped moping around and actually divulged some real knowledge.

Because, while she'd never say it out loud, the alien did in fact fascinate her. Not in the same obsessive way it had consumed Dib since elementary skool, but in a more simplistic mild manner. Learning about his race and biology did pique her interest, and she began slaughtering enemy squids in earnest as she reflected on the last time something other than video games had caught her eye.

Hm... that would be... eh... _never_.

Gaz played her game in glee as Dib seizured on the floor behind the couch, and she smiled. Zim hadn't even done anything to contribute towards their plan yet, and already it was causing her brother total agony; this could only become more entertaining.

* * *

"The Dib monkey was actually _writhing _from the desire to know? Ahahahahaa!" Zim cackled as he welded something on the ceiling atop his spider legs, flipping his visor up for a moment to grin evilly down at Gaz, who sat playing a game of go fish with Gir on the floor. "Human, truly Zim is _brilliant_! Not even a few hours into my ingenious plot, and already we are met with success! SUCCESS!" Zim screamed, holding the welder out as he shook his fists triumphantly. Gaz growled at the ear grating voice, and reached over and grasped two of the legs, yanking them so that Zim crashed to the floor with a pained sounding "Oof!"

Placing a card on the pile, Gaz looked up at the robot who was sucking on his own foot while he waited. "Go fish." Gaz said, and Gir giggled maniacally before blasting away out the roof. Gaz stared at his spot of exit, face scrunched up in confusion. That... wasn't how the game was played.

"Was that entirely necessary, worm baby?" Zim groused, pushing his wig back in place and scraping himself off the floor, dusting off the spots on his clothes with a sour expression. Zim had finally caved a few years back and purchased regular human clothing due to his height increase, but stuck to his initial style; all his pants were black and he had bought the same style of boots as his original ones (save for a larger size) and wore the same gloves, and his shirts usually consisted of solid colored tees, typically red. Variations were simple, ranging anywhere from neatly kempt button downs to professional collared shirts. It seemed as though his militaristic style of dress persisted even long after his termination from the Empire.

"Yes. You were yelling about yourself again." Gaz retorted, looking up at whatever Zim had been working on. "What are you doing, anyway?" she asked, looking over the alien's shoulder as he messed with his welder.

"Gir blew that up last night, and my computer operates mainly through the ceiling. If I don't fix it, I'll have to do everything in this room myself." Zim explained, testing the welder and holding the sparking end away from him. Satisfied, he pulled his visor back down and extended up to the ceiling and resumed work.

"Oh, doing everything yourself. How _terrible_." Gaz said in a mock sympathy voice and Zim's muffled response of "I know!" floated down to her inbetween welds. Rolling her eyes, Gaz poked at one of Zim's boots that was hanging just within her reach.

"What?" He snapped, lifting his foot up beyond her touch automatically.

"When will you be done? I could be at home playing video games, you know." She complained, and Zim didn't respond for a full minute as he connected two pieces of piping together.

"A little while, you impatient human. Now would be an appropriate time to get your homework done, while the amazingness that is Zim is otherwise occupied." Zim advised, not paying much attention to her irritated expression.

Grumbling about stupid aliens and their stupid technology, Gaz grabbed her textbook out of her bag. She had literature work tonight, and they were doing a poems segment. Gaz didn't mind poems much, so she apathetically pulled out the worksheet for the chapter. Scribbling in answers easily, it came as no surprise to her why her race was so stupid. If the best question they could come up with at the hi skool level was "what is the title of poem 3?" then her species really was hopelessly doomed.

Engrossed in a particular poem, she didn't notice the Irken who had finished his little home improvement project and was reading over her shoulder. "Are you done yet?" He asked, startling Gaz.

Looking behind her and huffing, she snapped the book shut. "Now who's being impatient?" she demanded, placing her materials away and standing up.

"Certainly not me." Zim whistled innocently, cracking a smile at her deadpan expression.

Gaz also let a smile slip through, and elbowed him lightly. "You're not so bad at the whole emotion thing, you know." She acknowledged honestly. For all the grief the alien had given himself the day before about his faulty emotion block, he really didn't seem to be having a hard time with feeling.

"Really?" He asked, quirking a half grin at the sort-of Gaz compliment. "I suppose it's not completely hideous, this "feeling" thing. And I have been dealing it with if for a few years now." He conceded, holding the welder up into the air so the mechanical arm that extended from the ceiling could take it without causing bodily injury to himself.

Gaz and Zim remained silent, searching each other's eyes. Annoyed at the fake lenses, Gaz snatched the wig off his head decisively. Heaving a sigh at the obvious implication, Zim took out his contacts and blinked a few times, twitching his antennae comfortably. It really was awful, having them pinned down all day under a mass of fake hair.

Gaz observed the Irken openly, and walked a circle around him in interest. Zim stiffened a little, following her with his eyes suspiciously. "What are you doing?" He questioned, antennae lowering a little.

"Wondering what'll happen if I do this." She said, and before Zim could scoot away she reached up and poked an antenna.

Freezing for a few seconds, Zim soon recovered and shooed her away. "Don't touch!" he hissed, gingerly feeling the antenna. Why had that simple curious poke caused his squeedly spooch to do a weird flopping thing? Glaring at Gaz, he stepped boldly forward. "How would you like it if I messed with you, human?" He asked, clearly miffed.

Reaching out a gloved hand, he mussed up the girl's hair obnoxiously. Even through the glove he could tell it was soft and well taken care of- not bleached to death or styled until it was like straw like some of the fools that attended the hi skool. Pulling his hand away before Gaz cut it off, he watched in amusement as she combed her hair back into shape.

"If you ever touch my hair again, I'll eat you alive. With a _spoon_." She threatened darkly, and Zim flashed a zipperlike smile at the challenge. Oh, he would definitely be messing with the human's hair again in the future- seeing her riled up brought an odd sensation to his squeedly spooch, and he couldn't say he altogether disliked it.

_"Stupid alien! All I did was touch his antenna thing! But still, not a lot of people have the guts to even hand me stuff- and he flat out crossed the line."_ Gaz thought conflictingly. Seeing the side of Zim that didn't have childish insult fights with her brother in the cafeteria was turning out to be a fun experience.

The two stood at odds, waiting to see who would break the mutual stare of false anger first.

As it turned out, neither of them won. A scream and an explosion had them looking at the blown in window where Gir smashed through, dripping water in his wake. Rolling to a stop at Gaz's feet, he proudly held up a flopping little orange fish. "I's went fishin'!" he yelled proudly, waving the fish in the air as it floundered weakly.

Gaz cringed, and grabbed the fish out of the android's slimy hands. "Zim!" she called, and the Irken snapped to attention on instinct. "Go get me a bowl big enough for this guy. Hurry up!" she commanded, and Zim faltered for a moment before dashing off to some room in the house. Hurrying into the kitchen, Gaz turned on the tap and waited for the sink to fill up enough to plop the fish in. The fish gasped for breath as it flopped around in the shallow water, but at least now it could breathe. Zim appeared soundlessly behind her, and handed her a decent sized fish bowl. A sticky note on the side read "Plan 391: Smushing via Fish" and Gaz decided she didn't want to know as she filled the bowl with water.

Removing the fish from the sink and dropping it in the bowl, Gaz watched as it sank in shock for a few seconds before perking up and swimming around in circles. Letting out a breath of relief, she picked up the bowl and lugged it into the living room. Walking to the table that held a phone near the front door, Gaz looked at Zim out of the corner of her eye. "Does this table blow up? Or move around? Or Disintegrate? Or anything that a normal table wouldn't do?" She queried.

Zim studied the table a moment, before shaking his head. Placing the bowl on the wood surface, Gaz watched the fish blow bubbles and dart around happily. Gir walked up and joined her, smiling hugely at the little orange creature. Zim watched wordlessly, wondering what in the world he'd just seen. Why was saving this fish from his stupid minion so important? He asked Gaz this, and received an odd look in return.

"I couldn't let it just die." She answered, and Zim turned the sentence over in his head. Why not? It was only a fish.

"And you're only an Irken, and I'm only a human. Wouldn't we want someone to do the same for us?" Gaz said without breaking her stare at the fish, making Zim wonder if he'd spoken out loud. Frowning, he too stepped forward and watched the fish. Gaz was better at reading people than he'd given her credit for; just because she didn't give a damn about said people didn't mean she wasn't aware of how their minds worked.

The fish seemed oblivious of its new home, instead looking happy at just being spared a slow death. Zim straightened, and tugged Gaz's shirt unobtrusively. "What?" she asked, looking up at him.

"I think it's time I finally taught you something of actual relevance to Irkens. So far Dib only _thinks _you hold troves of knowledge in your brainmeats, when in reality, you know nothing." Zim informed her, heading to the desk entrance to his lower labs. "And also... Zim has something most entertaining planned for your return home."

* * *

The fish had been named Smush after the sticky note on the bowl, and Gaz had spent the better part of twenty minutes explaining to Gir that the fish was _not_ food, the fish could _not_ come out of the bowl, and he was in general just _not_ allowed to mess with the fish. He had brightened up and nodded when Gaz had said he could look at it whenever he liked, and she had followed Zim up the stairs, convinced her new aquatic friend would be safe around the unpredictable little bot.

Zim opened the door at the top of the stairs with a voice scanner- screaming "I am ZIM!" when prompted by the security system- and stepped aside to allow Gaz in. Circling the craft slowly, Gaz failed at keeping the wonder off her face. How fast could this thing go? Did it shoot lasers? Could she abduct people she hated with it and cart them off to the moon to die?

"My Voot Cruiser, a true feat of Irken engineering. So far the only thing to ever succeed in rendering it completely unoperational was a terrible _death bee_." Zim praised, the cockpit opening as he neared it. Hopping in, he extended a hand out to Gaz and quirked his antennae as though in question. Eying the black glove for a moment, Gaz wasted only a fleeting second to think that a day ago the only reason she would have touched Zim's hand would have been to rip it off. Taking it, Zim pulled her in beside him and started the engine, an odd whirring sort of noise unlike any Earth craft. The roof of the house opened up, and Zim gave Gaz an abrupt warning of "Hold on." before he lifted quickly straight up into the late afternoon sky.

Gaz felt the G forces press on her as they shot above the cloudline out of sight, and relaxed once Zim piloted the ship forward in a less strenuous manner. They were heading towards her house at a speed akin to an average car, and Gaz wondered why Zim was taking his sweet time. Looking out the windshield, she recognized some of the neighborhood below and knew her house wasn't far off.

"Gaz human."

The voice broke her musings and she looked over, seeing Zim keeping his gaze trained stubbornly ahead despite the incredibly low probability of having a crash in the sky.

"Zim feels... content when you are near. Explain this." The Irken demanded rudely, but Gaz shrugged it off. She was more interested in what Zim had said rather than the way he'd said it.

"Sounds like friendship." She remarked flippantly, and was moderately surprised when the Irken didn't instantly go off about how Irkens needed no one and how friendship was for the weak.

"Perhaps." He agreed, tapping his gloved fingers on the dashboard in thought. "And you aren't vomiting at this notion because...?" Zim trailed off, finally looking at Gaz with a confused expression adorning his face and uncertainty swirling in the depths of his gleaming red eyes.

"I li-... I don't mind you." She caught herself saying and amended her sentence, watching Zim nod to himself in her peripheral.

"Zim likes you as well, meat child." The Irken hummed, and before she could reply, he lowered the craft and landed with a thunk in her back yard. Naturally the noise caused Dib to poke his gargantuan head out of his window and look around, finally directing his line of sight down and rubbing his eyes and gaping.

The cockpit opened with a quiet hiss, and Zim took Gaz's hand to steady her as she climbed out of the craft. Holding it a heartbeat longer than necessary, Zim said "See you tomorrow afternoon." and Gaz nodded, hoisting her bag higher up on her shoulder. The alien disappeared back into his spaceship and took off before Dib could grab his camera off his nightstand and, howling in frustration, Dib dashed out of his room and down the stairs in a flurry of gawky limbs.

"I don't want to hear it, Dib; we went through this yesterday. You should thank Zim for giving me a lift home- you never want me to walk the streets by myself after 7 anyway." Gaz beat her older brother to the chase, causing Dib to splutter angrily like a boiling teapot. Hiding her smile, she pulled out her Gameslave and stomped up the stairs. She hadn't seen Dib this worked up over something in a long time, and she had to admit Zim might have been a failure in his real plans, but this stupid plot to make Dib mad was working like a charm. Maybe tomorrow his head would actually explode instead of just changing colors and making weird strangled noises.

* * *

Gaz was trying insanely hard not to throttle both Zim and Dib as she picked at her corn. Perhaps it had been her fault in the first place for inviting Zim to sit with them at their lunch table, but did they have to be _this_ unbearable? Cats and dogs got along better than these two did.

"I know you're up to something Zim, and I'm gonna find out what."

"Ha! What could I _possibly_ be up to, Dib slime?"

"I don't know, space boy, but that's why I'm gonna find out! There's no way you're using my sister in one of your ridiculous, idiotic destroy-the-Earth plans!" Dib declared, and Gaz heard Zim suck in a tense breath.

"Don't be a moron, Dib. Contrary to your pig-headed beliefs, I find your sister's company to be most entertaining. She's definitely more intelligent than you, at any rate." Dib made a sound of outrage, but before he could make a scathing retort of his own Gaz pinned the two of them with a death glare.

"If you two don't stop arguing, I'm going to doom you both to a nightmarish world of pain and suffering." She threatened, and both boys shrunk a little in fear. Satisfied, a tense silence reigned over the table, broken only by Dib and Zim's angry food eating/food jabbing. Deciding she could live with this, Gaz pushed her tray away and pulled out her Gameslave. The rest of lunch passed in an angry quiet, and right before the bell rang Gaz looked up. "This had better not happen every day." She warned, and Dib looked aghast while Zim merely narrowed his eyes.

"He's going to be sitting with us every day!?" Dib yelled in tragedy, looking askance at the Irken.

"Yes, _Dib_, he is. And I already know you two don't hate each other like you used to, so don't pull that "save the world" crap." Gaz cut in, effectively shutting her brother up. Dib glowered at her, but before she turned her back to leave the lunchroom at the ringing of the bell, she saw Zim and Dib exchange a mild glance of cooperation. Too proud to admit tolerance while she was paying attention, but sneaky enough to make an unstable truce in her absence. _"Not bad…"_ she thought, watching Zim extend a stiff hand for Dib to shake on it.

The end of the day rolled around quickly enough, and Gaz found herself at the back of the skool seething in anger. A mob of boys had run yelling through the hallways after one of their friends whom had stolen what looked like a football, and Gaz had been roughly shoved aside as they stampeded past. Naturally she doomed their souls to eternal darkness, but her heart just wasn't in it- she was looking forward to going to Zim's house later to see Smush, Gir, and the egotistical Irken himself and no herd of smelly testosterone apes would ruin that for her.

Well, there was still _one_ ape left who leaned against the far wall opposite her. He'd been outside when she had stormed out the back double doors, but had made no signs of acknowledging her presence thus far. _"Good. He'd better keep it that way."_ She thought testily, preparing to head around the skool now that her horrible boiling rage had cooled.

She was stopped by the soft fall of footsteps in the dirt near her, and she looked over to see the boy from before openly staring at her from a few feet away. Making a disgusted expression at the pig, Gaz slipped a hand into her bag and hid her pocket knife in her palm. If this thug thought he could shake her down for the few dollars residing in her dusty wallet, he had another think coming.

"You know… despite being the bitch queen, you really don't look half bad." The snide voice made Gaz snarl a little as she walked away towards the side of the building where she knew there would be a few people. Was that supposed to be a compliment? Pff. Pairing a nice comment with an insult in the same sentence was something _she_ would do.

"I _said_, you don't look half bad." The voice repeated, directly behind Gaz now. Hiding the fact that she had almost jumped out of her skin, Gaz rudely tossed over her shoulder "Why should I care what you think, asshole?"

So when the teen cut off her escape route by darting in front of her, Gaz gave him the most hateful glare she could summon up. "_Move._" She hissed dangerously, planting her feet firmly in the dirt as she waited for him to cower away like every other simpleton in the world.

"You know, people think you're some kinda scary badass. But you're just a girl in hi skool. I mean, I could do this and you'd probably throw the most pathetic punch in the world at me." He said, and before Gaz could dodge away he was running a filthy hand through her hair. Flinching back, she clicked open her pocket knife and held it in front of her defensively. This jerk had destroyed her mood just when she'd managed to calm down, and now he _dared_ to touch her?

"Ooh, a scary little knife. I'm terrified." The guy said sarcastically, wrapping a hand around her wrist and holding it still despite Gaz's furious attempts to wrench it free. Shooting daggers at the buffoon who was moronic enough to lay a hand on her, Gaz grit her teeth. "If you don't release me right now, I swear I'm going to-"

"Going to what? Hit me with your game thing?" He mocked, and Gaz built up for a scream of outrage and was about to try and slug him in his big stupid face when a deathly quiet voice made her lower her fist.

"Let go of her, filthy swine pig."

Zim seemed surprised at finding Gaz in such a compromising position, but his evident anger quickly took over as the teen gave an ugly smile and tugged Gaz a little closer. Barely holding back a feral snarl, Zim took a few paces forward.

"What are you gonna do, green kid? Smack at me with your sticklike little-"

The human never got to finish his sentence, as a swift punch to the gut had him smacking against the brick wall of the skool with enough force to knock the wind clean out of him. Gaz immediately edged away from the gasping teenager and towards Zim, never taking her eyes off the hunched over form as she rubbed her wrist as though to wipe away the feel of his fingers. Making a noise of disgust, Gaz snapped her knife shut and stomped over to the male with revenge plastered over her features. Kicking him in the side as hard as she could, she was only satisfied when he wheezed and keeled over onto the ground.

"Don't mess with me again, _ever_. Or I swear I will hunt you down, find out where you live, and make your life a perpetual living hell. _Am I clear?_" Gaz leaned down to whisper the warning in his ear, and a weak nod was all she received in acknowledgement as she straightened up and rounded the side of the building, eager to be away from the area.

The click of Zim's boots on the pavement told her he was following at a respectable distance as she stalked towards his house, and Gaz balled her fists in pure hatred of the people in the hi skool. Blowing off steam the entire way home, Gaz kicked mailboxes on three separate occasions and knocked over a lawn gnome close to the edge of the path. Wrenching open the door to Zim's base, she left it open for the Irken as she made a beeline for the desk. Stepping onto the elevator that slid out of hiding, she tapped her foot impatiently as Zim hurried to join her.

The ride down to the lower labs was tense and silent, but Zim knew the waves of rage radiating off of Gaz weren't directed at him. Opening his mouth to speak, he thought better of doing so and closed it. Gaz would talk when she wanted to, and no amount of prodding from him would quicken the process.

The elevator touched down, and the teen stomped off it and into the reddish metal hallways, weaving through passages without discretion. Zim had given her free reign of the base, but warned her against entering rooms with living creatures when he wasn't with her. And the laser weasel room was off limits regardless, because Zim was in the process of converting them back into regular weasels so he could get them out of his base.

Stepping through a smallish doorway, Gaz stopped short and looked around in horror.

"This Is Gir's lower level room. I advise against entering it ever, unless you enjoy being driven insane." Zim noted from behind her, remaining a safe distance from the room Gaz quickly backpedaled out of it. The pigs… the _pigs_. Sweeping past Zim, Gaz continued wandering the halls for a few turns before she huffed and crossed her arms.

"You lead." She finally relented, ignoring the hmph of agreement from the Irken as he moved past her and led them to the main computer room. The room had been furnished with comfortable swivel-y chairs at Zim's request the night before, and Gaz dropped into one gratefully- sitting on the cold metal floor was murder on the malleolus'.

"You promised to tell me about your Pak today, remember?" Gaz spoke from her place on the chair, and Zim nodded and pulled his own chair in front of hers. Yesterday had been a basic overview of Irken society and technology, and he'd promised today would concern biology and his home planet. He was honestly a little surprised the human had shown such an interest in what he'd been saying the day before; he'd expected only reluctant absorption of bits of knowledge Dib would find infuriating, but Gaz had been genuinely interested in every aspect of what he'd taught.

Today was no different, and she tapped a finger on his metal Pak in curiosity. How could this tiny little thing possibly contain all the useful tools Zim claimed it did? The four slots opening without warning surprised her and Zim's spider legs slid out and waved around randomly, making her smother a laugh.

Continuing the conversation on how a Pak functioned as a dominant second brain, Zim noticed Gaz run her hand through a part of her hair absently for what must have been the hundredth time. Pausing mid-sentence, he frowned at her. "Gaz, why do you keep doing that?" he asked, watching her remove the hand immediately and place it with her other in her lap.

Aware of the lack of suffix to her name, Gaz fiddled with the ends of a lock while she formed a response. "He ran his fat meat hand through my hair. I… it's like I can still feel him doing it, and its gross." She mumbled, narrowing her eyes to slits at the memory.

Zim also made an expression reflecting his inner rage. He'd had his computer compile an explanation of human emotions less familiar to him a while back, and was sure one he'd read about was coursing through him now. "Protectiveness," he thought he remembered the emotion being called- usually only felt for people with whom a positive connection was shared. Reaching out a hand slowly, he ran his claws through the Gaz's dark purple hair.

Gaz flinched minutely, but sat stiffly and allowed the alien to continue. She _had_ poked at his antenna yesterday, after all. If he wanted to seek revenge then he was at least justified in- … why was he taking off his glove?

Zim had pulled his hand back and was tugging the black glove off, flexing his exposed fingers in the cool air. His digits appeared to merely be tapered to points rather than have actual claws or nails, and Zim kept them carefully tucked as he resumed touching Gaz's hair. He confirmed his earlier theory that her hair was indeed rather soft, and pleasantly toyed with the strands. He hadn't the slightest clue why Gaz hadn't destroyed him yet, but was rather enjoying the contact while it lasted.

On Gaz's end, her brain was too busy malfunctioning to realize she should be shoving Zim away. As it was, she relaxed unwillingly as the feel of Zim's careful fingers through her hair erased the disgusting phantom sensation left by the last person to have touched it. Unconsciously leaning into the touch, Gaz noticed Zim's antennae perked up as though in fascination, and she smiled deviously. Two could play at this game.

Reaching out she poked one again, and Zim's hand twitching briefly in her hair was all that betrayed the reaction he attempted to hide. "What does that even feel like? Does it hurt?" Gaz asked nonchalantly, feeling heat rise to her face and trying to battle it back down immediately. She didn't know what else they were for besides hearing- Irken biology was today, and Zim hadn't gotten to them yet.

"Hm… odd. Sort of… what's the filthy human term for it… comforting, perhaps? Or maybe pleasant?" Zim guessed, leaning away from Gaz and removing his hand, to her secret disappointment. "On Irk antennae touching is frowned upon, because it can lead to friendships. And friendships are- er, were- a distraction." Zim explained logically, swiveling his chair to face the keyboard. Automatically shrinking to within Zim's reach, the Irken zipped through files and other seemingly worthless folders for a while in the search of something. "What about for humans?" he asked eventually, shiny red eyes still scanning the screen.

Gaz bit her lip and searched the room with her gaze aimlessly as she thought. "The hair thing was nice. Beyond that there's hugging, I guess. I don't know." Gaz improvised, knowing the alien already knew about human interactions; he _had _been stuck on this planet for several years.

"Hm, yes, I do remember reading about that. And other… egh, _things_." Zim said, making a choked sounding noise at "things."

Gaz snickered, wondering what dirty site the innocent alien had stumbled upon that had gained him that particular knowledge. Gaz bet his horrified reaction had been priceless. "You were telling me about you Pak's memory system…?" Gaz prompted after a few seconds of silence, and Zim's antennae twitched in acknowledgement.

"Yes, yes. The memory sector. All the collective race memories we are uploaded with while still smeets are stored there, and any additional personally gained memories as well. It functions…"

The rest of the afternoon was spent with the two talking and laughing occasionally as they ignored the elephant in the room. Gaz crammed her feelings into a tiny ball of ignorance and banished them to a dark corner of her heart where they continued to leak out, and Zim argued internally with himself for the duration about his Pak's emotion block. It was only the faulty emotion block, it was only the faulty emotion block, it was only…

Was it?

* * *

"You did tell Gir that he could only feed Smush twice a day, and only those little flakes I brought over right?" Gaz checked, and Zim made a noise of affirmation. Gaz had attempted to walk home herself when it neared 8:00 but Zim had outright refused the notion, offering her another spaceship lift home instead. When she'd made an offhanded remark about chivalry not being dead after all, the Irken had sputtered a little and flailed his arms in denial, simply stating that the new invisibility cloak he'd installed on the ship would drive Dib up the wall when he was unable to photograph it.

Gaz rolled her eyes as she watched the world scroll by below her, reflecting on what Gir had said as he tugged her shirt sleeve before she followed Zim upstairs.

"Mastah likes yewwww." It had trilled happily, unaware of Gaz's facial expressions playing an odd game of charades as she decided how to feel about that.

"And who would you know?" She'd eventually grumbled, and Gir had giggled and climbed up her arm to whisper in her ear conspiratorially.

"I heard him talkin' to himself. And I just knooow." Gir said in a hushed voice, before hugging Gaz's head and sliding back down her arm and onto the floor, where he danced away to his room in the upper level completely oblivious to the turmoil he'd set off in the teenager's mind.

"_Yeah… I'm sure Zim does like me because, I mean, what kind of person wouldn't like a friend?"_ Gaz told herself as she climbed the stairs, but a nagging in her mind told her that wasn't what the insane little android meant. Shutting the attic door behind her, she found Zim sitting in the cockpit twitching his antennae impatiently. Giving him an apologetic look, she said "Gir." by way of explanation, and the alien relaxed and nodded.

Taking the unnecessary hand up into the ship, Gaz settled beside Zim on the seat that just managed to be big enough for the two of them. Pressed against his side a little, Gaz noticed for every two or so of her breaths Zim drew in a short quick one. The Irken also didn't radiate the same body heat as most males, but did have a slight warmth to him that was nice to lean into.

They remained side by side for the slow flight home, neither willing to call the other out on the unneeded violation of personal space. Both were lost in their respective warring thoughts, and sooner than either would have liked Zim was lowering the ship into the Membrane household's back yard. Landing with a less obnoxious thump this time, Zim ran a claw over the panel to open the windshield. Hopping out before Gaz could he gave a deep mock bow and extended his hand dramatically, not at all surprised when Gaz made a noise of irritation and ignored it, exiting the ship unaided.

Smirking at the expected response to the excessive politeness, Zim straightened up again and held Gaz's amber gaze. It was dark out, and he made certain to stay in the shadows (he'd decided against the disguise again tonight) but Gaz was lit up enough by the porch light for Zim to make out details.

If he was being hideously honest with himself, he had to admit she really wasn't a bad looking human. She never went out of her way to alter her appearance aside from basic human hygiene steps, but still managed to look better than the flouncing fools who coated on pound after pound of makeup daily. It was a rare natural beauty, few and far between in the typical Earth society.

"What are you looking at, space boy?" The question made him break his gaze and look off to the side at a rather incredible bush, before shrugging and making a noncommittal noise. "Hm… well, goodnight. I'll see you tomorrow." Gaz said after a few heartbeats of strained silence, and Zim nodded mutely. Before she could turn around and walk inside however, Zim took the few steps separating them and pulled Gaz into a quick stiff hug, giving her more than enough room to break away if she so desired.

Standing with her arms limp at her sides for a moment, Gaz drew a blank on how to react. The last time anybody had dared to hug her had been _never_ ago. So, debating with herself for a few seconds, Gaz sighed- what could it hurt?- and hugged Zim back in a similar stiff manner.

The Irken held the embrace a second or so longer before stepping away courteously, grinning lopsidedly at Gaz in delight at the returned gesture. "Happy sun disappearance, Human!" he said cheerily, waving and jumping back into his ship instantly, taking off before Gaz could say anything.

Going inside and shutting the door with a quiet click, she turned around to see Dib frowning at her from near the window in the moonlight hallway.

…Dammit.

* * *

Thank you all SOOOO much for all the reviews I got last chapter even though I forgot to ask for them, you guys :D You all rock. This one is really long, but I really like how I wrote it- the words just came so easily for like four hours straight. Reviews would seriously be appreciated for this chapter because it's almost 7,000 words. That's a lot. So please, your thoughts are deeply desired :D Thanks guysss~


	4. The Horrible Pizza Hog

Dib made a few odd noises reminiscent of a gazelle with intestinal distress, before frothing at the mouth a little. Gaz crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, waiting to see where Dib's apoplectic fit would take him.

As it so happened, the fit took him sliding up the wall by his mouth like a slug, and hanging from the ceiling while his body flailed around in spasms. Dropping to the floor and squiggling around neurotically, Gaz only caught a few words of his mind-destroyed ranting: "Enemy!...But, hug!… Need eye bleach… dog with meat… hnng…!" Gaz rolled her eyes. Dib was the biggest drama queen on the planet.

A few seconds of crazed ranting passed by, before Dib popped up from the floor and stared calmly at Gaz, wiping the froth off his mouth as he collected his more rational thoughts.

"That… that was the most awkward hug I've ever seen in my entire _life_." He noted flatly, taking a sip from his soda now that his little episode of terror was over.

Gaz opened her mouth to retort, but snapped it shut. He _was_ right. Combine someone from another galaxy with someone with no social skills and a hug, and the result didn't equal out to anything smooth regardless of the scenario. "I don't care if you don't like him, Dib. I do. You'd be less of a thorn in my side if only you knew the half of it."

"What, the part about Zim not being a real Invader? And his messed up alien backpack thing?"

Gaz froze and pinned Dib with a furious glare. "I swear, if you've gone so far as to put some sort of stupid recording thing on me, I'm gonna shove it so far up-"

"No, no. I'm not that crazy." Dib quickly held his free hand up in defense, motioning for Gaz to chill out. "I've known for years- I broke into his base the day after and got the recording off his computer."

Gaz lowered her finger that had been pointing doomingly at Dib. "Then why haven't you called him out on it yet?" She asked, feeling as though she already knew the answer.

"Because it would have destroyed the pipsqueak completely." Dib said, walking past Gaz and into the living room. Flicking on Machine Gun Squid Apocalypse 2 and passing a purple controller to Gaz while he took his own blue one, he set his soda on the floor away from their feet. "It's kinda funny, really. All I'd ever wanted for years was to beat him, and I finally got it and it just… wasn't right." Dib admitted, selecting his weapon on 2 player mode while Gaz cycled through the options. Gaz nodded mutely, and he continued. "I have a new reason to hunt him down now, though. What's he done to you?"

Gaz pressed "begin match" and glared at Dib. "He hasn't done anything. He's just told me all his little Irken secrets I'm sure you're _dying_ to know." Dib's eyelid twitched with barely suppressed insanity, and Gaz laughed shortly. "Really though, I don't know…" she trailed off, and Dib studied her intently. Narrowly avoiding having his head shot as the match started, he took down a few enemy squids and darted under cover.

"He hugs you, holds your hand, and flies you home, and you can't put two and two together?" Dib demanded, looking fully at Gaz as she sliced a demon squid's tentacles off.

"Well, when you say it like that…" Gaz let the sentence hang, before coming across Dib's avatar and holding the gun to his head. "Look, just drop it for the night, or I'll betray you right now and take the glory of the match for myself."

Dib nearly threw a protective-older-brother tantrum, but squished the instinct and instead made a dissatisfied noise. "Fine." He grumbled, and Gaz lowered the gun.

Only so that she could knife Dib's player to death an instant later.

"Hey! Hey, what was that for!?" Dib bellowed as Gaz defeated the remaining few targets and stood up.

"That was for spying on me through the window like a creep." She explained, and picked her bag up off the floor and headed upstairs.

"I'm not a creep…" Dib protested to the empty room, pouting as he flicked on Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mysteries.

* * *

Gaz lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. Usually when she was faced with difficult decisions or thoughts, she would drown her worries in the violent world of video games. But tonight, her Gameslave had failed to keep her attention and she'd tossed it on her desk angrily after dying for the 87th time. So as a result, here she was, staring up at the rather unremarkable boring white paint of her ceiling.

Zim had invaded her thoughts this evening quite easily, and refused to leave no matter how hard she tried to shove him out. His stupid superior voice, the asinine things he would sometimes say, that idiotic stiff march he occasionally walked with… why was she wasting her time thinking about him?

"_You liiiiike hiiiiim."_ A soft inner voice hummed, and Gaz snarled.

"_Inner monologue, I thought I banished you to the shadow realm years ago. What do you want?"_ Gaz grumped at herself, crossing her arms. What an absolutely spectacular time for her conscience to crop up.

"_You're too proud for your own good. Can't you admit, _just once_, that it would feel good to have someone to lean on?"_

Gaz frowned. This was the exact reason why she had exiled her conscience years ago; it pulled mindtripping thoughts on her from corners of her heart she worked diligently at to bury, and then vanished to let her mull her feelings over in irritation.

"What feelings? I don't have any feelings towards him. He's a… a business contract of sorts." Gaz muttered to herself in the silence of her room, the sound swallowed up by the plushiness of multitudes of stuffed animals in various locations. Even as the complaint left her mouth, Gaz knew it wasn't true. They'd formed a solid friendship in the blink of an eye, having more in common than either would have ever guessed, and now it was mutating into…

For the love of Bloaty, she knew _exactly_ what it was mutating into. She just couldn't bring herself to say it aloud.

Gaz rolled off the purple bed and dug around in her drawers for a pair of pajamas. If she couldn't drown the thoughts and emotions spawned from her realization in video games, perhaps she could hide from them for a while with sleep. Tugging on smooth light purple shirt and pants, she burrowed under her covers and stretched out, trying to quell her mind.

As much as her pride stung because of it, Gaz reasoned that falling asleep to various thoughts of a particular cocky green alien wasn't _too_ wimpy. A faint smile crossed her face as she finally slipped into unconsciousness with the remembered feel of Zim's comforting claws through her hair.

* * *

"Computer, run a scan on my Pak, my squeedlyspooch, my lesser brain… everything!" The Irken demanded, gliding into the main computer room and stopping before the blank monitor.

"_Uhh… ok… what am I looking for?"_ The computer asked unsurely, slowly running red lasers down Zim's rigid form.

"I don't know! Maybe an illness, or something. I already know about the defections in my Pak- ignore those. I want any recent changes." Zim clarified tersely, tapping his foot. Gir peeked around the corner with a quiet squeaking noise, watching his master's displeased form in interest. "Anything?" Zim asked as soon as the red light evaporated.

"_No. What did you think was wrong with you?"_ The computer pried.

"My squeedlyspooch gives me odd feelings at times. And I'm incessantly happy- such happiness for Zim is abnormal!" The Invader declared loudly, shaking a fist in frustration.

"Maaasstaaaah?" Gir trilled, tapping over to Zim with little metal clanks from his odd legs. Zim didn't even glance down at his servant, instead making a "go away" motion by flapping his hand and focusing his attention on the monitor as he reviewed his vitals and the test results. Gir, not to be deterred so easily, poked Zim's legs repeatedly. "Maaastaah, I know what's wrong with yous." Gir said gleefully, waving his arms when his master abandoned the computer entirely and stared directly at the little robot.

"And just _what_ is wrong with me, Gir?" Zim humored the android for the moment, bending down with his hands on his knees and peering into the simple blue eyes.

"NOTHIN'!" Gir screeched excitedly, grabbing Zim's face and squishing it.

Zim pinned his antennae back in annoyance as he stood up with Gir still clinging to his face. "Thank you for your valuable insight, Gir. Now leave me be; I need to find out what's wrong." The Irken mumbled around Gir's little metal torso, and grit his teeth when Gir squirmed around and kicked his legs.

"Nu-uh, mastah! You like scary lady!" Gir explained, sticking his tongue out when Zim yanked him off and held him at arm's length.

"I already know that, Gir. She is a most entertaining individual to spend time with, and her presence is quite-"

Gir rapidly shook his head no, cutting Zim off. "Nooo, you _like her_ like her." Gir repeated more insistently, willing the overcomplicated alien to understand something he could grasp so easily for a change.

"No, I…" Zim began, but trailed off and lowered Gir a little as his gaze swept the room unseeingly.

Gir giggled quietly at his master's predicament and swung his legs in the air happily. "Mastah, should try hugging Gazzy again. Gazzy likes hugs- she won't say so, though. Every time I hug her, she threatens to bake me a basket of bread! WOO!"

Zim put Gir down and widened an eye slightly. He strongly doubted Gaz had threatened to _bake bread_ if Gir hugged her. Zim was sure a much more "colorful" choice of words had been used, but Gir's childlike mind had warped it into the usual foolishness to be expected of him. Zim's red eyes followed the robot as it tottered out of the room to go have a tea party, and he heaved a sigh. Gir rarely had lucid moments of communication like the one he'd just been lucky enough to witness, but usually when the android cared about something enough to express it in a way that actually made sense, it was right.

"But… but she's a human!" Zim protested out loud as the truth crashed down on his conflicted little green head.

"_So? You're both sentient beings of equal intelligence with similar anatomy. What's the huge difference besides race?"_ The computer chimed in cheekily, and Zim cast a baleful glare up towards the ceiling. The ex-invader deigned not to respond however, as he turned the computer's logical statement over in his mind. Yes, Gaz was a human, but she was different from most of the typical Earth females and the rest of the human population. That definitely made her worthy of his affections.

"Will I be assaulted by Earth meats?" Zim timidly asked the computer, a horrid memory of his experience with Tak ages ago dredging itself up from his memory bank.

"_Earth meat…? Zim, do you know the first thing about human relationships?" _The computer guessed accurately, and if it had the ability to make expressions it would appear rather smug as Zim's thin shoulders dropped.

"No…?" The Irken drew out the word hopefully, clearly expecting the technology to fill him in.

No such luck, as the computer breezily answered "Then I suggest you ask Dib."

Zim spluttered before waving his arms angrily. "Oh, of course, because the Dib slime is _so popular_ with the ladies." Zim drawled sarcastically, tapping a foot.

"_He's got a girlfriend. What planet have you been on, Zim?"_ The computer commented dryly.

"The Dib… _what!? _Never! Impossible! He's too much of a HORRIBLE SMELL RAT to ever…!" Zim let out a breath of air with a whoosh, fist still raised up in denial. Come to think of it, the Dib had been rather lax with trying to break into Zim's base lately and had been hanging around that Gretchen child… But all the same, Zim made a noise of discontent. He HAD been on a theoretical other planet as of late, and he knew it. But if the Dib could help him where his faulty AI system refused to… perhaps a chat at lunch wasn't out of the question.

* * *

"Dib beast! I, the INCREDIBLE Zim, require a discussion with you and your enormous head of smell."

Perhaps _not_ the best way to begin asking for help, but Dib looked up from his sandwich all the same and regarded Zim placidly. "Why?" He asked, taking another bite and leaning his head in his hand lazily.

"Because! I, eh… need to ask you about… uh…" Zim looked around for inspiration, eyes landing on a hairy old man who seemed to be at least in his 60's. "Old Kid!" Zim finished, nodding to himself.

Dib set the sandwich down on the saran wrap it had come in and gave Zim a flat-out disbelieving stare. Upon closer inspection, Dib noticed the alien was fidgeting nervously and kept shifting his weight, and only Dib saw the wig shifting as Zim's antennae moved about anxiously. Gaz had buried herself in her Gameslave for the duration of the lunch and remained quieter than normal for the day, and Zim seemed unusually put off about it. So, swinging his legs over the bench, Dib stood up and wrapped his sandwich and shoved it in a pocket, following Zim as the alien led him out of the cafeteria and through hallways.

"Zim, where the hell are you taking me?" Dib asked once the Irken began to ascend a small flight of stairs at the end of one of the side halls. "If you're taking me to the top of the skool just so you can push me off or something stupid like that-"

"Oh shut up Dib, you know we're past that by now."

Zim's irritated reply shut Dib up effectively. The human had honestly expected Zim to never admit to their changed enemy status out loud, but shrugged a shoulder and followed Zim up. The cool breeze from the top of the building was refreshing as Zim turned around and faced Dib stiffly.

Dib looked the alien over warily. "So, you dragged me all the way up to the top of the damn skool to really ask me about…?" Dib prompted, watching Zim's expression melt into one of detestation at something.

Zim looked as though he'd rather leap over the edge of the building than be where he was, and Dib was curious as to what had gotten the ex-invader so worked up. Zim drew in a tight breath and clicked his claws together tensely as he answered. "About… what to do when one wishes to… hm, I suppose court is a fitting equivalent in English… when one wishes to court a female on Earth."

A silence drifted between the two, broken by only the distant cawing of a bird. Dib's face slowly stretched into a manic grin, and Zim winced as he anticipated what was coming.

"Haha…hahaha…. AHAHAHAHA!" Dib slowly worked himself up into a fit of laughter, holding his sides as tears streamed out of the corners of his eyes. "Heheh, you want to date someone here on Earth? Oh man, that's a load!" Dib got out, doubling over and panting as he stomped a foot hysterically. Zim narrowed his eyes and gave the human a death glare, and crossed his arms angrily. Perhaps the computer would be of more help now that Zim had at least tried to communicate with the Dib shit. Dib sucked in a long breath as his chuckles degenerated into occasional bursts of humor, and he straightened up as he looked over the alien's profile.

"It's my sister, isn't it?" Dib asked slowly, carefully observing the Irken. Zim's eyes widened fractionally, but it was all Dib needed to confirm his suspicions. Leaning against the wall that enclosed the top of the stairs, Dib pulled his sandwich out of his pocket and unwrapped it. Chewing it thoughtfully, he pondered the alien's request. Well, he _could_ just tell Zim to go away and never talk to his sister again, but even he wasn't so dense as to miss the fact that Gaz clearly enjoyed spending time around Zim. And as loathe as he was to admit it, Zim seemed uncharacteristically pleasant around her as well. Swallowing the food, he wiped his hands on his pants and raised an eyebrow.

Zim was avoiding Dib's gaze, choosing instead to glare at a pair of birds that flew by cheerily. _"I didn't know Zim even _could_ get embarrassed."_ Dib thought, and cleared his throat. "Take her to Bloaty's. She loves Bloaty's." He said simply, tilting his head when Zim gave him a bewildered expression. "What? You've developed a tolerance for Earth food, the pizza there won't kill you. You asked for my help, and I gave it. The rest isn't hard to figure out- just go with it." The human advised, opening the door despite Zim's choked back noise requesting he wait.

"But… she's been so distant today." Zim muttered as he followed Dib down the stairs, and Dib looked over his shoulder at the forlorn ex-invader.

"Uh, yeah. She's _Gaz._ You didn't seriously expect her to deal with her feelings in any way OTHER than playing video games, did you?" Dib pointed out, reaching the bottom of the stairwell and making a right turn around the corner back towards the lunchroom. Zim hmphed in reply, remaining stubbornly silent as the two reentered the cafeteria. Heading back to the table, Zim sat in his usual place beside Gaz as Dib said something about seeing Gretchen and left the two alone with the sound of the Gameslave filling the silence.

"Sooo, eh…" Zim began unassumingly, knowing he had Gaz's attention when her button tapping slowed. "Zim was thinking… that, uhm… " The Irken let the sentence hang as he looked across the lunchroom and saw Dib sheepishly running a hand through his hair as Gretchen shyly said something and motioned for Dib to take the seat next to her. Zim frowned in determination- if the Dib monkey could do this affection thing, Zim could do it eighty SQUILLION times better! "I was thinking tonight sounded like a good night for pizza, rather than sitting around in my base and having Gir harass us. Zim thought… perhaps Bloaty's sounded acceptable?" The Irken baited, antennae hearing Gaz hold her breath despite their being covered.

Gaz paused her game and finally made eye contact with Zim, scrunching her eyebrows together as she tried to read his expression. He was clearly hopeful for her to say yes, and seemed on edge if the way he continually twitched his fingers was anything to go by. Cracking a smile at the invitation, Gaz released a handhold on her game to give Zim's anxiously twitching claws a quick squeeze. "Sounds fun." She said at last, smothering the larger smile that threatened to escape as Zim grinned hugely in success.

The bell for class rang, and the Irken hurriedly finished up what he was going to say. "YES! I mean eh, good. I'll get you around seven, so I recommend doing any homework prior." Zim notified her, and stood up to leave. Again his line of sight traveled to the other end of the lunchroom, and Zim's contact covered eyes narrowed to slits as he saw Dib say something along the lines of "See you later." to Gretchen before giving her a quick peck on the cheek and rushing off, leaving her blushing in his wake.

Zim snarled to himself. Stupid Dib, with his stupid… Dib-ness! Snorting, Zim looked behind him to see Gaz flicking off her game and putting it in her bag as she got up from the table. _No one_ outdid an invader, exiled or not. So, grabbing Gaz's arm and tugging her closer, Zim also planted a light kiss on Gaz's cheek before marching triumphantly off to class and leaving a rather befuddled human staring after him.

"_Take that, Dib smell."_

* * *

Gaz passed the day in a mixture of pleasant feelings that made her want to vomit little sparkly hearts, if only the idea of vomiting sparkly hearts didn't make her want to kill herself. Even when her third block teacher _dared_ to call on her to answer a question Gaz didn't immediately send his soul to the shadow realm, opting instead to just say the answer and have class move along without an argument.

At last the end of the day arrived, and she found herself walking home with Dib and Gretchen. Dib had approached her in the courtyard and made a lame attempt at asking Gaz to behave politely around Gretchen, and Gaz waved him off- Gretchen was one of the few people in the skool she didn't want to set fire to. When asked if Gretchen was his legitimate girlfriend, Dib had hemmed and hawed a little uncertainly, causing Gaz to shake her head and let the question go; if they weren't now, it sure seemed they would be by the end of their movie night in the living room. Walking a few paces ahead of the two, Gaz saw the house come into sight and sighed in relief. Not that she didn't enjoy Gretchen's company, but Dib's presence was as irritating as ever and she longed to be sequestered away in her room from his nerve-grating voice.

Holding the front door for the two in an uncharacteristic display of manners, Gaz grinned to herself as she passed by Dib in the living room and caught Gretchen's eye casually. "You know, there was this one time when Dib raised the dead. Has he told you about it?" Gaz asked sweetly, and Gretchen drew her eyebrows together a little.

"NO I _haven't_, because that's never happened!" Dib cut in instantly, waving his arms at Gaz to go away. For once pitying her older nuisance of a brother, Gaz merely chuckled and walked upstairs, hearing Gretchen slowly ask "Raised the dead…?" as she shut her room door. Thumping down at the dark wood desk Gaz tugged her homework out of her bag and set to doing it, taking her time so any hours spent idly waiting for Zim wouldn't seem like an eternity.

Flipping her literature textbook closed with a flop of papers after skimming through various short stories aimlessly, Gaz rolled her pencil back and forth across the cleared off desk. It was 6:57, and if the Irken was late to something he'd arranged Gaz would never let him hear the end of it. Making an agitated noise, she tossed her pencil in her bookbag and stood up to go sprawl across her bed when a tapping at her window met her ears. Pushing aside the normally drawn curtains that kept out the hated sunlight, she saw Zim hanging from the roof by a spider leg and holding his hand in the air with a claw still outstretched to click against the window. Gaz hurriedly undid the latch to let Zim swing in easily, quirking a brow. Why couldn't he have just knocked on the door like a normal person?

Oh well, she decided. This was the sort of nonsense that made him interesting in the first place.

"Gaz human! Zim has arrived!" The Irken proclaimed loudly, planting his fists on his hips and standing proudly upright.

Gaz rolled her eyes and grabbed her bag, giving the Irken a passing arm bump as she headed for her door. A gloved hand shot out and curled gently around her wrist, tugging her back towards the window as she made a sound of protest. "What, Zim? The door's downstairs." Gaz reminded the ex-invader, wondering why Zim was taking out his spider legs and crouching on the windowsill. Zim looked at her expectantly, and Gaz huffed. Fine, if Zim wanted to be weird and use the window, she supposed she could humor him just this once. Dib and Gretchen were probably comfortable downstairs anyway, and Gaz didn't want to tromp through their evening regardless of how much she enjoyed bugging Dib.

Zim leaned away from the house, and Gaz took his place on the sill as he wrapped an arm carefully around her middle and lowered them both to the ground without incident, spider legs scraping for holds against the house. Gaz placed her feet firmly on the grass while Zim trotted around to the back of her house, and a familiar whirring indicated they would be traveling in style as per usual. Zim sat impatiently in the cockpit, patting the space beside him as an incentive for Gaz to quicken her pace.

Ignoring the alien, Gaz ambled over as slowly as she damn well pleased, smirking at the slight wig shift caused by a twitching antenna. Taking the hand offered to her, Gaz hopped up into the ship and settled comfortably beside Zim as the Irken flipped various switches and knobs, sliding a claw across the dashboard to engage invisibility and have the ship take off. Zim let his Pak wirelessly direct the ship where to go as he diverted his attention to the human pressed against his side. Humans had a warmer core body temperature than Irkens, it seemed, and the warmth was quite nice to huddle into.

Gaz noticed Zim attempting to practically fuse his side with hers while still trying to remain discreet about doing so, and she hid a most un-Gaz-like giggle. Zim was significantly cooler to the touch than most humans, but Gaz didn't mind; if anything, it just meant she would never have to deal with the sweat that would otherwise likely be present on most human males. Deciding to play along with the alien, Gaz pulled him close with an innocent arm around his middle and the Irken brightened at the gesture as he laid an accompanying arm across her shoulders. Who'd have thought the prideful Invader Zim would ever come to think of humans as anything besides lower lifeforms incapable of moderate intelligence?

"I wish you didn't have to wear that stupid disguise everywhere." Gaz's voice from his side made Zim involuntarily twitch an antenna at the unexpected sound.

"You don't find me disconcerting when I'm not wearing it?" The Irken asked, wanting confirmation of his suspicions.

"Of course not. Humans are so boring- why would I want my alien to look like one of them?" Gaz remarked distractedly as she looked out the windshield, seeing the edge of the city that had Bloaty's pizzeria come into view.

Zim quelled a hum of satisfaction at Gaz's seemingly unconscious use of the possessive "my", instead taking manual piloting back and maneuvering the ship to a stand of trees on the same street as the restaurant. Setting it down with as little noise as possible, Zim got out and helped Gaz down before pulling a small black remote out of his pocket and pressing the sole button on it. The ship phased into view for a brief moment with a heat wave-like shimmer, before a bush sprouted from the top and enclosed it, effectively concealing it from idiotic humans who would be too stupid to realize a large bush in the middle of a forest didn't make sense.

Nodding proudly at his incredibly masterful cloaking device, Zim stepped onto the empty street and walked beside Gaz. Trying not to seem on edge as the restaurant of horrors was seen, he whistled innocently before finding Gaz's hand and unobtrusively taking it, wondering if she would permit the action.

Feeling the odd texture of Zim's glove lightly grazing her fingers, Gaz debated on politely removing her hand. She never had been one for open displays of anything, nevermind affection, and the simple gesture had her questioning what she thought she was. Wasn't she the harbinger of doom? The look-at-me-and-I'll eat-your-eyes scary girl? The emotionless person in a sea of fluff-headed bimbos?

Hmph. Well, she supposed she could be nice to _one_ being and still manage to retain those titles. After all, didn't everyone have an exception for something in some small form?

Together they entered the restaurant, and Zim looked around. It had improved little from when he'd last been there, but at least the business seemed to have done away with the soulless, demonic animatronic animals. "What type of pizza did you want?" Zim leaned down a little to hear Gaz over the din of the pizzeria even though she wasn't a great deal shorter.

"Just cheese is fine, you can get your half any way you want it." Gaz said, looking around for a suitable table. An unoccupied booth off to the side seemed innocuous enough, and she nudged Zim and pointed at it to show where she'd be once he'd placed the order. Zim nodded and released her hand, stepping forward to talk with a drooly counter worker as Gaz crossed the restaurant and sat at the booth, propping her head in her palm as she watched the children play in the arcade across the room.

It was so weird watching children, Gaz had always thought. Because before they reached a certain point, they all seemed like they had the chance to be intelligent- until society squashed the spark out, of course. Zim came back with a plastic stand that had the number 2 drawn on it in faded sharpie and tossed it on the edge of the table before taking his own seat, placing his claws on the table with a light click.

The two sat and stared at each other for a moment, silence passing between them as each thought of what to say. Time ticked on, and ultimately nothing was said; for what was there to talk about? The weather? Their respective days at skool? Gaz would feel moronic if drivel like that came out of her mouth in a serious attempt at conversation.

Zim, for his part, sat quietly and let time meander as it pleased. He had nowhere to be and nothing else to be doing, and didn't feel the same awkward need most humans did to fill quiet with their obnoxious voices.

And so they sat, Zim biding his time calmly while Gaz turned conversation options over in her head before routinely discarding them.

"You don't talk like others. Most humans would be squirming with discomfort by now." Zim noted at last, and Gaz hid her relief at finally having something mildly substantial to respond to.

"I only talk when I need to. You didn't bring me here and expect me to melodramatically impart my life's story, did you?" Gaz asked, watching the corner of Zim's mouth twitch up briefly.

"I wouldn't expect that from you under any circumstance, let alone in the middle of a pizza joint." Zim said wryly, attention caught by a server trundling over and asking about drinks.

"Soda." Gaz immediately said, wondering if Zim would even order anything. Wouldn't the water base in all liquids hurt him to some degree?

"Same." The Irken answered quickly, wanting the offensively smelling waiter drone to leave his approximate vicinity. Nodding at the requests, the teen left in much the same slow manner he had arrived with a displeasing snorting sound before he went into the kitchen.

Zim flicked his attention back to Gaz, studying her. Her hair seemed well brushed and her usual makeup was touched up flawlessly- had she actually made some sort of attempt at looking nice for a night out? The mere thought of imagining Gaz fretting in front of a mirror was laughable, but Zim wisely kept his mouth shut. If Gaz had done anything with her appearance, she would never admit as much and any needling by him would only earn a few potent glares.

In return, Gaz observed Zim. Seriously, how in the world was it still possible only she and Dib knew he was an alien? It was obvious at first sight. The lack of nose or ears, the unnatural eye color not found on any human, his speech patterns and personality, the green skin… her race was so godawfully _stupid _for not being able to see it. But at the same time she was glad of their collective ignorance, because it meant things like spaceship flights in the middle of the day.

The pair's mutual observations ended when their server came back with both requested drinks and wheeling the pizza behind him on a tiny push trolley. Accepting the items with reluctantly muttered thanks from both sides, the server gave a wet sounding cough and staggered away towards the bathrooms.

"I see this place hasn't gone downhill, at least. It's always been bad; I suppose getting worse is impossible." Gaz commented dryly as she grabbed a slice of cheesy pizza.

Zim grabbed his own slice and bit into it, admitting the pizza wasn't half bad for how repulsively terrible of a restaurant the place was. "Then why do you like Bloaty's so much? The pizza isn't bad, but I'm sure there are more suitable places."

Gaz primly wiped a bit off sauce off the corner of her mouth as she looked around. "I don't really know. I've just… always gone here, I guess." She answered after watching a kid get vaporized for losing one of the games. His molecules would be rearranged out back, but that didn't make the game's punishment any less amusing. Watching Zim calmly start his second slice, something occurred to Gaz. "Shouldn't you be, like, on fire or something from eating this stuff?"

Zim blinked at her and swallowed the bite of pizza he had taken, shaking his head. "A couple years ago, yes. But I've had to adapt myself slowly to be able to eat things containing more than just pure sugars. I don't get shipments from Irk anymore, so it wasn't an option to just eat nothing." Zim explained briefly, indulging in the rest of his pizza happily as Gaz grabbed her own second slice.

* * *

"You certainly did NOT beat me!" Zim declared angrily, stalking along the street with a takeout box gripped tightly in his gloved hand as Gaz followed behind with a smug grin on her face.

"_You_ were the one who got vaporized. How can you say I didn't win?" Gaz asked incredulously, knowing Zim's pride was smarting from his utter destruction at Zombie Attack III in the restaurant.

"Because! Zim ALWAYS wins!" The Irken yelled, making sure the street was clear before walking off the sidewalk and into the woods. Gaz rolled her eyes and followed, catching Zim just in time to see the bush shield fold up and away and the ship become visible. Getting inside before even Zim did, Gaz crossed her arms.

"Sore loser." She said simply and stuck her tongue out tauntingly, wondering if she was being hypocritical. Of course, she had never lost a game to anyone in her life, thus never giving her the opportunity to find out whether she herself was a sore loser or not.

Zim huffed and easily hopped in, mashing buttons and yanking knobs as he had the ship take off.

"You were a little bit of a challenge, don't feel too bad. I can annihilate anyone in video games." Gaz half-assedly comforted, taking Zim's hand on a whim.

The Irken relaxed and accepted the touch, peeling out his contacts with his free hand and tugging off his wig. Gaz reached up and tapped an antenna almost without thinking, watching Zim's eyes slip closed with a pleased smile spreading across his face. Involuntarily leaning into her touch, Gaz mused that if Zim were a cat he'd be purring like a boat. Instead, a barely perceptible humming sound came from somewhere deep in his throat, and the Irken idly pulled a hand through Gaz's hair.

This was nice, Gaz decided. Not at all sexually pressing like a stupid pig headed male would be, and not awkward either. It was just a pervading feeling of mutual comfort, and Gaz drank it in contentedly.

The two remained like that for a time, their own bubble of solitude enclosing them from the rest of the world. She noticed somewhere in the back of her mind they were no longer sitting up, but more at a steep slant on the cushiony driver's seat. Zim might have thought he was sly enough to get the ship to mold itself more comfortably around them (however the hell he did that without using his hands), but little escaped Gaz. At one point the Irken was bold enough to plant a light kiss on her neck, and Gaz pushed away the heat that rose to her face. For being from another planet, Zim sure wasn't shabby at human tendencies. Bravely sitting up a little, Gaz returned the gesture on his cheek and squeezed him a little.

Well, he wasn't a Gameslave but… she'd keep him.

"Where are we even flying?"

"Heh." Zim said, only half hearing Gaz's question as he buried his face in her hair and inhaled deeply at the familiar scent. "I have no idea. And I don't care."

* * *

Yaaaay I finally updated. I guess it hasn't been that long since I last updated, but this chapter didn't come to me as easily as the the one before did. I still made it nice and long for you guys though! Thank you so much to all my reviewers, you guys are so inspiring and awesome :D Any thoughts at all on this chapter are mucho appreciated :D (again, check my main author page for tentative story chapter release dates. It'll give you an idea as to when to expect stuff from me.)


	5. The Transmission

In the darkness of the night at the end of a quiet cul-de-sac, the roof of an unusual purple and green house opened up for a few seconds before snapping closed again. In the absolute blackness of the attic hangar, the sound of a ship's engine slowly powering down was all that broke the tranquil silence.

"I need sleep, you know. I can't stay here for too long, Zim." Gaz reminded the Irken as Zim helped her out of the Voot Cruiser.

"Zim is aware of the pathetic human need for sleep." The Irken confirmed, walking towards the attic door. "But it's only 9! Why sit at home with Dib smell when you could be wasting time with the GLORIOUS ZIM!?" He demanded loudly, glancing across the room to see Gaz still standing by the ship peering around blindly in the general direction of his voice. "Oh, right. You can't see a damn thing, can you human?" Zim chuckled, heading back to Gaz and taking her hand to pull her towards the door.

"Nope, but I'm guessing you can. You never mentioned seeing in the dark the day we were going over Irken biology." Gaz accused, feeling her way down the stairs carefully as Zim locked the door behind them with a brief eye scan.

"It's so natural to me I didn't think to. It would be like you telling me you had ten fingers, or two eyes, or something equally obvious." Zim reasoned, taking Gaz's hand again and hiding a snicker as she found the bottom of the stairs by stumbling a little and bumping into the door. Feeling around for the knob like a blind person, Zim saved her the trouble by snaking an arm past her and turning it himself. A minimal amount of light flooded in from a lamp lit on the false table in the living room, but before Gaz could step out of the small space Zim bent his arm around her middle and tugged her back against him.

The human's warmth was almost addicting, and the few places she actually let skin show were soft. Gaz stood stiffly as she felt Zim add another arm and nuzzle her hair in content. This didn't escape the invader, who loosened his grip and asked "Are you uncomfortable? I was under the impression you secretly found hugs to be enjoyable. You can thank Gir for that divulged information, by the way."

Gaz snarled. That little robot! He was so utterly dumb most times, but she'd be dammed if she didn't admit he could be incredibly crafty when he wanted to. A slight nudge from Zim made her realize he was still expecting an answer however, and Gaz absently pulled at the hem of one of his gloves. "I don't know. It's not like I get hugged very often, so I'm not used to it; the only reason Gir can get away with it without getting his heard ripped off is because I like him."

Zim practically purred behind her, and Gaz twisted a few inches so she could meet his eye. "I guess that means you like me as well, since my head is still clearly attached to my body."

"Don't push your luck." Gaz grumbled. Rolling her eyes, the human let a sigh escape through her nose as she made a deliberate effort to relax against Zim's flat, angular chest. The Irken was only slightly warmer than room temperature, but Gaz liked the minute heat he let off infinitely more than Gir's chilly metal hugs or her father's swift, bone crushing embraces. Without warning, Zim tightened his grip around Gaz and picked her off the floor with ease from behind, toting her to the couch in the living room. Falling back onto the old ripped sofa, the wheezing sound of air it made was largely ignored as Zim pulled Gaz down next to him.

A remote popped out of a hole in the floor in front of Zim with a deep tube-like "pthoo" noise, and the alien snatched it out of the air and leaned back, arm innocently across the back of the couch in a clear invitation. Deciding to ignore him a smidge and see if she received a reaction, Gaz crossed her legs and leaned her elbows on them instead, pillowing her head in her palm. "TV? In the whole wide labyrinth that is your base, you choose television as a form of entertainment?"

Zim pulled a nonplussed face and ceased flicking through the channels. "We can always go play with the laser weasels." He suggested flatly, antennae twitching briefly when Gaz didn't reply. "That's what I thought." He muttered after a second, impatiently tapping his claws on the couch. Taking the hint, Gaz finally leaned against the back of the couch with him and watched as Zim perused channel options.

Gaz looked around the room as Zim cycled through the TV guide, and flashed a quick smile of greeting at Smush off in the corner as he swam circles in his bowl; it was good to see Gir hadn't done anything stupid to the fish.

"Hey, this is that "Mysterious Mysteries" garbage the Dib watches, isn't it?" Zim asked as he landed on a channel with a familiar dark-skinned man with graying hair talking about a glowing seagull on the Atlantic coast.

"Yeah. Isn't it stupid?" Gaz replied, only half listening to the show as she concentrated on Zim's slow breathing.

"Mmn. It certainly explains some of your brother's neurotic obsessions." Zim observed, watching the screen change to a photograph of a green seagull that had clearly just been covered with glow paint.

Gaz nodded as she leaned against Zim and shut her eyes. She'd order the alien to take her home in an hour or so, but for now dozing against him didn't sound so terrible.

Zim was aware of the decrease in Gaz's breathing rate after a time, and he turned his head to see her slumping against him sleepily. Ghosting his claws through a bit of hair near her shoulder, he thought it almost a shame Irken Paks had emotion blocks; they may prevent some negative emotions, but his race had no clue what they were missing out on when it came to positive ones.

Time wandered on uneventfully as Zim contented himself with observing Gaz. He had never been one for patience- Horrible Painful Overload Day 1 was proof enough of that- but the simple passing of time in this manner was acceptable to him.

Noting the time an hour and a half later, Zim determined that bringing Gaz home was a necessary evil if he didn't want to endure her foolish sibling's idiot mouth flapping. Poking her shoulder a few times, Gaz lazily swatted at his hand and mumbled something that sounded like "Go 'way…" as she let out a long breath and tried to return to unconsciousness.

"Gaz, I need to bring you home. Your stupid meat brother will be wondering where you are." Zim said, shaking the girl a little. Gaz made a groaning sound of reluctance, but hauled herself up off the couch with a lurch. The Irken winced as he listened to her spine pop in a few different places as she stretched, and stood to escort her upstairs when a hauntingly old sound reached his antennae.

"_Beep beep beep."_

Zim froze and stared at the television set that still displayed whatever show had come on after Mysterious Mysteries, and narrowed his eyes. Perhaps he had imagined it…

"_Beep beep beep."_

No, there it was again! Zim stalked a few paces closer to the TV, flinching when it blacked out, and looked up unhappily as his computer dolefully announced "Incoming transmission… from the Massive, master."

Zim drew in a shallow breath and forced his antennae to stand up a little as he motioned for Gaz to stay put. "…Patch it through." Zim ordered the computer, and awaited his fate.

The screen came back to life to show the interior control room of the Massive, no different from when Zim had seen it years ago. Massive workers tapped away at their respective keyboards, speaking quietly into headsets as they initiated various commands for the ship to keep it running smoothly. Tallests Red and Purple stood in the foreground of the scene and were also unchanged, and their open look of worry at Zim's increased height didn't escape the ex-invader's notice.

"M-my… my _leaders_." The faint greeting eked out of Zim, holding more emotions contained within than Gaz thought possible. Anger, grudging respect, fear, rebellion, surprise, the slightest tint of hope… how the Irken must have been feeling was probably overwhelming.

"Greetings, Zim. It's certainly been a while. You're… _taller_." The one with red eyes said pleasantly, holding his fingers together behind his back idly while the purple alien in the background watched expressionlessly.

"Yes. Yes it has." Zim answered guardedly, stepping more in front of Gaz in an attempt to shield her from view.

"I see someone has managed to infiltrate your base… as usual. It's good to see nothing much has changed." Red commented dryly, gaze sweeping past Zim to lock with Gaz's defiant glare.

"She has not infiltrated. She is a human… eh...relation here on Earth. An ally of sorts." Zim fumbled for a believable explanation, settling on a half-truth.

"Hm." Red let the subject drop after a beat and continued, red eyes boring into Zim's. "Anyway, I suppose you're wondering why we've decided to contact you."

Gaz hoped she was the only one to notice Zim's almost imperceptible twitch of claws. "Yes, Zim is curious as to why you would contact me after… all this time." The ex-invader began, but obviously substituted the end of his sentence rather than mention his terminated status.

Red pulled one of his hands from behind his back to inspect the fingertips critically, replacing it after a second. "Mostly to see if you were still alive. Which you clearly are… and you aren't even wallowing in depression." Red answered honestly, and looked over his shoulder at Purple as his co-leader accepted a soda from a servant and slurped it obnoxiously. Zim watched the screen with a neutral expression, but Gaz could see the tenseness in his shoulders as he waited for Red to get to the real reason they had called in the first place. "You see, Zim, we've called to give you a final order of sorts. We want you to return to Irk so you might be transported to Judgementia and undergo another trial for defection. It would be your last chance to leave this world with a shred of honor left to your name…" Red trailed off temptingly, eyes narrowed as if daring Zim to answer negatively.

Said Irken's countenance hardened as he raised his antennae in anger at his old leaders. "No. Not only would returning to Irk to be unfairly judged and deactivated anyway be a stupid decision, but I have developed other… loyalties here." Zim reached behind him and drew a claw across Gaz's hand slowly as he thought out his response. "You have made your position concerning me clear. I would be happy to leave you in peace if only I could live without haras-"

Zim was immediately cut off by Purple, who yanked the straw out of his mouth and floated closer to the screen. "No, Zim- that's just it. You're still causing problems, and we haven't even heard from you in years!" Purple yelled, waving his arms imploringly. "Irkens are talking, Zim. About you, about your Pak defection, about their own Pak's coding… and we can't have that." Purple crossed his arms and leaned forward aggressively. "If we deactivate you, it'll prove the Empire's power is unquestionably absolute. So what'll it be, defective?" Purple asked dangerously, floating back to stand beside Red as the two leaders of the most powerful armada in the universe awaited their old subject's answer.

Zim bared his teeth and pitched his antennae forward in a clear sign of rage. "No. I'd sooner take off my Pak and let my lifeclock expire than be used to bring the empire back into line." Zim hissed, the sting of betrayal running rampant through him. "I found the Tallest obedience codes you engineered into the Paks. Wouldn't our race just _love_ to know about that one? Our first loyalty is always to the Control Brains, not you! You had no right to change it!" Zim screeched, wishing he could dive through the television and give the righteous Irkens a sound thrashing. How dare they try and usurp the way Irken society had been run for eons simply in the pursuit of personal power?

Gaz placed a hand on Zim's back under his Pak, and together they awaited the coming storm. Red and Purple were deathly silent, but both sets of antennae were standing up hostilely. Red's lip twitched up in the beginnings of a snarl, and Purple glowered at the screen. At last Red spoke, voice ringing with finality. "So be it. Ex-invader Zim, on account of your refusal to return to Irk for judgement and open defiance of your leaders, we are sending the revised Megadoomer 2000 to destroy you. We'd come and wipe out the entire planet ourselves, but we're just too lazy, and you're not worth it." Red declared, straightening to his complete superior height.

"Yeah. I'd love to blow you up personally, but I suppose this is the next best thing." Purple chimed in, slurping his soda once more.

Gaz almost backed away as a snarl ripped through the room, and the body under her hand vibrated with the feral noise Zim was producing. "So be it, _my Tallests_." Zim growled, teeth flashing in the reflected light of the TV. "The Irken rules of war state that if I am victorious over this foe, I am to be left in peace. I destroyed Irk once on accident; don't press me, or I may find a reason to blow it up a second time on purpose." Zim warned venomously, antennae pinned back in ire.

"Yeah, sure, whatever. It's not like you'll be able to beat it anyway. Nice working with you Zim, see you later-" here Red and Purple spluttered with laughter- "or rather, we _won't_ see you later."

The transmission terminated, and Gaz could practically feel the waves of distress rolling off of Zim as the Irken clenched and unclenched his claws. Gently rubbing circles into the sensitive seldom-touched skin around his Pak, Gaz kept her mouth shut while Zim worked things out in his head.

"Gaz… I've no doubt they have every intention of programming that robot to go after you and possibly even your brother as well. Myself and Gir will be its first primary targets, but you and the Dib will be like bonus points to the Tallest." Zim said at last, rarely shown analytical and strategic abilities beginning to shine through after years of disuse. "They'll express ship it, of course- it'll be here tomorrow afternoon at the latest. I'm sure they've fixed the invisibility issue the original had, and given it a fresh power core. That means it'll be mobile, armed, giant and stompy…. there will be collateral damage for sure. I'll need weapons… big, explodey sorts of weapons…" Zim muttered to himself as he took long strides towards the table, situations and outcomes calculating behind his glossy red eyes.

Gaz stepped on the platform beside him as they descended down into the base, tiredness forgotten in the wake of this turn of events. Zim agitatedly toyed with her fingers as the elevator descended at a painfully slow rate for how quickly his mind was moving, and he almost smacked his head on the top part of the shaft when he tried to step off too soon. Gaz trotted every few paces to keep up, and she miraculously managed to identify the route they were taking as the one that led to Gir's room of horrors.

Zim stopped outside the entrance, and placed his fists on his almost nonexistent hips as he called out "Gir!"

A shuffling sound was heard as if from far away, and a small explosion from within rattled the halls before Gir poked his head out and peered up at Zim.

"Yeeeees?" He asked innocently, cyan eyes holding Zim's gaze easily.

"What was… oh nevermind, I should know better than to ask by now. Listen very closely, Gir. Master has something incredibly important to tell you." Zim kneeled down so he was level with Gir, and the android's expression remained the same aside from his tongue slowly squeezing out. "The Tallests- eh, I mean, the "big meanies" gave master a call. They're gonna send a chicken leg robot to destroy us! I need you to gather every weapon in the entire base and bring them to the workroom so I can begin to assemble something to fight it with." Zim dumbed down his speech for the robot, and Gir's face slowly stretched into an expression of horror.

"The… the big meanies called?" He asked, but before the Irken could respond Gir gave a loud wailing gasp. "The meanies! And, and the weapons! And… and MEANIES!" Gir screamed, sobbing as he darted down the hall.

"Uhhh…" Gaz said, looking at the trail of wetness Gir left behind. Had he really understood a single thing Zim had said?

Zim nodded and stood back up, doing an about face and hooking his arm through Gaz's as he dragged her quickly through the halls to some unknown destination. Gaz stumbled along a little trying to keep up with the Irken's militaristic march, wondering where he was taking her as they wound through dimly lit reddish metal corridors.

Zim stopped abruptly before an inconspicuous door on the side of the hallway, and pulled off his glove before placing his palm on a scanner to allow it to open with a pneumatic "_fshhh_." Grabbing Gaz's hand and also placing it over the scanner, he waited until a short beeping confirmed the computer had stored away her prints and associated her with necessary access rights. "I don't have the time to escort you home tonight, and there's no way you're walking this late. If I want to escape tomorrow with any amount of real limbs intact, I'm going to need to place all my concentration in my work."

Gaz nudged Zim over a little so she could look around him into the room. An unassuming boring bed sat in a corner beside a nightstand, and the walls were the same red metal as the exterior. The floor was unadorned and cold looking, but a minifridge in the corner opposite the bed looked tempting enough. Had Zim maybe put some sodas in there…?

"I'll be down the hall in the workroom if you absolutely need me for some reason. I'll also contact the Dib stench and let him know of the situation, so don't worry about him either." Zim informed Gaz, making a slight shooing motion for her to go inside. "The bathroom is through that door with all the basic amenities you humans need just to be presentable, and computer _should_ have left a spare shirt of mine and a comfortable pair of shorts on the counter for sleeping in." The Irken finished, and stood with most of his weight on one foot as he looked around uncertainly.

"You're sure you're not forgetting anything?" Gaz needled playfully, enjoying Zim's frantic reaction as he went over the details in his head. "Relax. This room even has a minifridge- I'll survive a single night." Gaz elbowed the Irken behind her and nodded in acceptance. Turning around to meet Zim's red eyes, she tilted her head in thought. "This is insane, how different things are. It hasn't even been that long."

Zim gave a half smile and dipped his head slightly. "You humans are such a fast race. One day you're smeets, the next you're almost out of hi skool, and then… well. I'll just have to change that "death" part for you. Humans simply haven't discovered the technology of renewing cells to keep the body fresh, but its elementary stuff, really." Zim gave a cocky smile, and Gaz punched his arm in mock insult.

"Yeah, because you're _so_ much older than me in mentality. This coming from the person who throws bananas at his enemies' heads?" Gaz taunted, and laughed when Zim puffed up in denial.

"It was a BRILLIANT plan! You filthy worm brother never saw it coming!" The Irken declared while crossing his arms with a huff.

"It wasn't a plan at all! You just spontaneously decided to throw fruit at my brother!" Gaz pointed out.

Zim opened his mouth to refute her claim, but all that came out was a wheeze of air. How was it possible they were this comfortable and knew each other this well already? Oh well- the closeness with another living creature was an exquisite habit, and Zim cracked a lopsided grin before pulling Gaz into an embrace.

"_Goodnight,_ insufferable Earth relation." The Irken bade as he stepped away from Gaz reluctantly.

"Goodnight, stupid space alien." Gaz replied immediately, letting a smile break through at the moronic name calling.

Before she could shut the door in his face, Zim ducked in and quickly pecked her on the lips and strode purposefully away down the hall. Closing the door in a slight daze, Gaz flounced into the normal-looking bathroom. Whilst turning on the tap and rooting around for the toothbrush and paste, a depressing thought struck her; hopefully that wasn't the last time she'd get the chance to experience that feeling. Whatever Zim was cooking up in that workroom of his with every weapon in his possession had better be good if he was to make it through tomorrow.

* * *

Gaz blearily cracked open an eyelid to the same amount of light she had fallen asleep to and yawned, wondering what time it was in the back of her mind. Grumbling a little, she turned over and snuggled back into her pillow. Opening her eyes to take stock of the room after a time of drifting between the realms of asleep and awake, an earsplitting screech echoed throughout the lower base as amber eyes met glowing blue ones.

As Gaz screamed, Gir giggled maniacally and latched onto her head, having no clue of the mayhem he'd incited.

"GIR, GET OFF OF ME! Get off _get off_ **GET OFF**!" Gaz screeched, bolting out of bed and running for the door in the hopes of finding Zim so the Irken could remove his malfunctioning minion and provide a scolding.

"Gaz! What's going on, I heard-"

"_SMASH!_"

….

"Hee hee hee."

The three beings lay on the cold metal floor in a tangled heap, Gir holding his mouth in an effort to mask his giggles. Zim made an incoherent groaning noise, and Gaz grunted and pulled her elbow out of his stomach… er, squeedlyspooch, she supposed. Zim contorted himself out of the pile and stood up, wincing as he stretched back muscles that had spent the last eight or so hours hunched over various doom-filled devices. Offering the hand that wasn't holding the new bruise on his head to Gaz, he helped the human up and together they glared down at Gir.

The robot quailed at the double death stares he was receiving, antenna making a creaking noise as it drooped down.

"Gir? How long were you standing beside the bed staring at me?" Gaz asked slowly, blinking at the android.

"Mmmmmmmm… a couple minutes. G' MORNIN', GAZZY!" Gir shouted happily, clicking his little pincer hands in the air in delight.

Storm clouds blasted lightning within the girl's head, and she harnessed every ounce of her willpower to stave off the desire to doom the little bot. Zim gave her a scared sideways glance, and snatched Gir by an arm and gave him a meaningful shove in the direction of the workroom. As much as Gir may have deserved a dooming, now wasn't the best time.

Gaz let out her pent up rage in a single angry huff, and finally acknowledged Zim. "So, good morning, I guess. What time is it anyway?"

The Irken gave a brief, tired smile in return. "8 something."

Gaz nodded, and turned around to go back in her temporary room to shower and prepare for the day. "I'll see you in like half an hour." She tossed over her shoulder, hearing Zim's boots click away down the passage.

Zim walked back to his workroom, thoughts churning. He'd worked tirelessly all night, and while Irkens didn't require sleep the effort was still slightly taxing. Gir had actually cooperated for the better majority of the evening, bringing him any weapons he could scrounge up from within the base and even raiding a police station to add to the collection. Zim had ordered his computer to do maintenance and improvements on the Voot, small things that would help out but he didn't have time to see to personally- armor plating, weapon attachments, fuel refining- those sorts of tasks. All the arsenal Zim had gathered had been constructed on top of an unremarkable bipedal robot frame, and Zim gazed upon the almost completed masterpiece with pride. He hadn't been assigned a high development position with Vortian scientists for nothing all those decades ago.

"Gir!" Zim called, digging through a pile of weapons on a table in search of something particular.

"Mastah!" The robot screeched in reply, rocket-boosting over to Zim and crash landing on the floor beside the Irken.

"Take this ion plasma arc reactor beam ray and attach it to the robot." Zim held out said object when he managed to unearth it from the heap, and Gir made a squeaking noise as he grabbed it and flew to the top of the robot, sparks beginning to fly as the unorthodox assistant rewired circuits and soldered metal. Zim scaled the bot with his spider legs and dropped into what was quickly becoming the main control pod, observing the layout and progress. Grumbling to himself about how programming the motherboard to operate every weapon crammed on the machine was going to be a pain in the Pak, Zim set about creating his own circuits and connections.

Making good time, the alien turned a knob halfway experimentally. Gir yelped as a laser beside him began charging up, and Zim nodded in satisfaction. He didn't have the resources to spare testing actual weapon firing, but the fact each weapon he'd wired had booted up successfully gave him enough security to believe it would work come battle.

"Gir! Initiate plan Toe-key-oh."

The robot finished welding the weapon on, and blinked red while saluting before flickering to blue again, and blasted through a port in the ceiling as rubber pigs fell to the floor in his wake.

A metallic rapping noise originating from the battlebot's legs had Zim peeking over the edge of the hatch down at a wet-haired Gaz. She still had her hand fisted and knuckles raised midair a few inches from the metal of the robot, and seemed to be in a better mood than earlier. Dressed in a different pair of her own clothes- Gir must have somehow gotten them from her house at some point during the night- Zim could smell her usual scent mixed with a soapy cleanness from his place atop the battlemech.

"How's it going?" She called up, stepping back a few feet when the computer took the courtesy of bringing a ladder up through the floor for her. Giving a quick thanks to the touchy AI program, Gaz scaled the steps and peered down into Zim's hobbled together control room. All things considered, it really didn't look half bad for a creation only a few hours old. Buttons were mismatched and clearly improvised, and one lever looked like it was attached to a stump by duct tape, but the overall creation appeared to be in working order.

"Can it do anything yet?" Gaz asked Zim, leaning her elbows on the rim of the hatch.

"It can charge up every weapon and- I assume- also fire them, and I've almost got the leg movement protocol online." Zim pinned his antennae back as he typed a few things in on a keyboard and watched lines of code scroll by on a dusty looking monitor he'd clearly dug out of who-knew-where. "Bipedal robots require an infuriating amount of specificity and precision in their movement programming, or else the entire piece topples like an unbalanced obese human pig."

"That's a nice image." Gaz remarked, memories of the morbidly fat Bloaty man coming to mind. "Hey, what did Dib do when you told him about all this?" She asked, feeling useless. She wasn't an engineer or anything of the like, and couldn't think of anything worthwhile to contribute to Zim's rushed efforts at creating a machine to save his hide.

"Heh, that. Quite funny really." Zim chuckled and spared a glance up at her, smirking. "Do you want to know what he said _before_ or _after_ he began foaming at the mouth?"

Gaz made an "ugh" noise and rolled her eyes- typical Dib. "Omit any nonsensical babbling- did he actually say anything important?" She asked, tapping a fingernail along the metal.

"He said If you were anywhere near me when this all happened, he'd personally bring me back from the dead- if I died- and beat me to death himself with something he called a "dil-doe." Whatever that is." The Irken recited, and the robot lurched as he slowly pulled a lever to make it raise one leg. Humming, he resumed typing in lines of code and occasionally testing leg movements, making necessary adjustments on the fly.

"Anything else?" Gaz prompted, feeling like her brother had to have said more than just the humorous death threat.

"Yes, actually…" Zim trailed off, going silent for a second as he concentrated fully on having the robot take a few unsteady steps while Gaz hung on to the top easily. "He said to keep my "slimy, green alien mouth" away from you. So I intend to do the exact opposite, naturally." Zim insisted, halting the robot and standing up from the controls, giving Gaz a kiss before resuming his work. "I think we may have found an even better way to anger the Dib smell than our original plan." He noted, grinning in response to Gaz's smirk and sound of agreement.

"As things stand now though, I grudgingly admit he is right; neither you nor his smelly dirt-ness will be anywhere near the city when the robot lands. I can't divert my attention trying to keep you both from getting blown up if I'm to have any chance at winning." Zim said firmly, holding Gaz's amber gaze steadily as the protest died on her lips.

"Way to sugarcoat things…" Gaz muttered, growing sick of lounging on the top of the robot alone while Zim tinkered away a few feet out of her reach. Entering the little control pod feet first and scooting out of his way, she bravely hugged Zim from behind. If the emotionally immature Irken could manage a decent embrace and a few kisses, she could get over herself enough to initiate a hug. Zim slowed in his work, leaning back against Gaz contentedly with a strained sigh.

"I really don't feel like dying. I hope this robot is good enough to put up a decent fight until I can find the Megadoomer 2000's weakness." Zim confessed, looking over the controls as though altering a single switch or moving a knob would decide the outcome of the battle. Zim's lightly twitching antennae brushed Gaz's cheek as she listened quietly to Zim worry. "Because it does have one- it _has_ to. As good as Irken and Vortian engineering is, these things always have a fatal flaw not immediately obvious. The original Megadoomer's were its power supply and invisibility- this one has to have _something_…" Zim felt like his brain would explode from all the analytical thinking he'd been processing for the past several hours straight.

A pleasing sensation spread through him immediately after his aggravated "hmph", and he went slightly limp as Gaz toyed with an antenna comfortingly. Relaxing into the feeling, he failed miserably at hiding the barely audible hum that escaped him as muscles he didn't know he'd had clenched loosened up in relief.

"You'll smash it to pieces I'm sure." Gaz encouraged, other hand rubbing circles in Zim's tense shoulders.

"Yes. Yes, I will! Because I am _ZIM!_" The Irken screamed confidently, standing up in the small space and shaking a fist at nothing in particular. Hopping out of the pod using his spider legs, Gaz tapped her foot for a few seconds until a gloved hand extended down to haul her out. She never got the opportunity to descend the robot herself, because Zim made the trip with her securely in his arms before she could threaten to boil his eyes in his own squeedlyspooch for carrying her.

"Hey, Zim?" She asked, watching Zim "Hmm?" and turn around from examining a ridiculously huge looking gun of some sort.

"You're not going to blow up buildings and stuff with people in them, are you?" She ventured uneasily, wondering if the Irken had even considered the inhabitants that would be in danger.

Zim snorted and pushed some dials on the gun, observing the settings. "Of course not. In approximately half an hour, you'll notice a crowd of people leaving the city in fear of an escaped giant mutated turtle-shark courtesy of Gir hacking into every television station in the area and spreading the word."

"So _that's_ where he's been." Gaz mused, looking up when Zim set the gun down and walked to the exit door of the room, beckoning her to follow with a short flick of claws.

"Where are we going?" She demanded at last after following the Irken through a few hallways with no explanation.

"_You_ are going home, where you and your smell head brother are to take that junky wheel thing he calls a car and leave the city with the rest of the humans." Zim instructed, stepping aside at the end of a small side passage to reveal a one person elevator.

Gaz grit her teeth in anger at being told what to do, but immediately pushed it away and gave the Irken a tight hug before stepping on the platform and waving as it lifted up.

Zim might have thought he'd miraculously succeeded in ordering her not to join the fight, but Gaz knew better. For now, she'd just let him keep on thinking that. Her father's abandoned project from a few years back might be just the thing to turn the tide, and she'd be dammed if a megalomaniacal little Irken told _her_ what to do.

* * *

Sorry its a little late, but I really wanted to nail this plot turn- you can all thank reviewer Coldblue for the inspiration, actually. It was them who made me think of a suitable ending and an appropriate amount of action to inject into the storyline :D I feel like next chapter will be the last one, so bear with me guys! I'm going to try to make it exciting, and funny, and suspenseful, and sweet, and awesome, and everything all at once :D

As usual, reviews are EXTREMELY APPRECIATED! **All you people who fave and follow this story without reviewing- I CAN SEE YOU :P** And I'm glad you like it enough to fave/follow it, but I'd also like to hear your thoughts on it! Take Coldblue's review as an example; one little comment can make a whole lot of aweosme happen :)


	6. A Battle of Fate

The front door slammed, and Gaz braced herself for Dib's assault.

It never came.

"…Dib? Aren't you going to yell at me now?" Gaz called out, poking her head into the kitchen to see if the human black hole was inhaling food like he tended to do.

"I'm in here." The voice drifted down from upstairs, and she followed it to Dib's door. Opening it, she raised an eyebrow at the lanky teen charging around his room filling a duffel bag with clothes, his haunted gummy bear collection, laptop… anything of any value he could get his hands on it seemed.

"We're not leaving the country, you know." Gaz pointed out, and Dib paused long enough to shoot her a look that clearly said "you're missing something." Waiting patiently for her older brother to fill her in, she tapped a foot on the rug.

"Seriously, Gaz? A GIANT ROBOT is coming to THIS AREA to do BATTLE. Our entire house could get smashed!" Dib over articulated.

"And that's a bad thing?" Gaz ventured.

A moment passed with Dib glaring sullenly at her, and she sighed and waved an arm. "Fine, fine. That would be _most tragic_." She amended, perching on her brother's bed as she watched him bustle around the room.

"But I'm not leaving." She stated quietly as Dib blew the dust off an issue of _Crop Circles Magazine_.

Immediately he inhaled sharply, and hacked on the cloud of dust that settled in his lungs. Eyes watering as he made desperate wheezing sounds, Gaz critiqued the posters in his room while she waited. That one was stupid- there was no such thing as a vampire gerbil- and that one was even _more_ stupid- Dib didn't seriously believe that was a _real_ haunted Poop cola can, did he?

Recovering from the respiratory attack-causing dust Dib froze and stood ramrod straight, squinting at Gaz like she'd spoken in Irken. "You… what?" He gaped, knowing a battle of wills was about to spark.

"You heard me, Dib. I'm not leaving like some prissy lady in distress. I'm staying and fighting."

Dib pinched the bridge of his nose under his glasses and let out a long breath. "Look, Gaz. I get the whole chickening out thing, really- I feel pretty lame too- but I'll freely admit this is out of our ballpark! As much of an insane, stuck up, idiotic jerk Zim is, he's the only one with the technology to stand up to whatever's coming. We'd be in his way." Dib reasoned in a placating tone, trying to get his sibling to realize they were only humans and had nothing to offer in this fight; no mechanical gadgets that came out of their backs, no amazing eyesight, no claws or fangs or any other natural weapon… and they certainly didn't have bazookas lying around to contribute.

"You're wrong Dib. We do have something to help with." Gaz rested her chin in her hand and watched her paranormal-obsessed brother from between her bangs, waiting for him to take the bait. It must have been hard for him as it was, ignoring the fact that an epic alien vs. robot showdown would be occurring in their own vicinity without trying to convince another person to leave with him.

A heartbeat passed before Dib suspiciously asked "Oh yeah? And that would be?"

Gaz smirked. "For you, Tak's spaceship. For me… remember Project Doomsday?"

Dib paled and backed away, eyes widening. "P-project Doomsday? The… the one that dad…?"

Gaz smiled innocently. "Yeah, that's the one."

Dib shook his head and resumed tearing apart his room in search of items to bring with him on his great escape. "No Gaz, he abandoned that project for a _reason!_ Mankind isn't ready for that level of SHEER DOOM!"

Gaz shrugged and hopped off Dib's bed, heading for the door. "Think what you like Dib, but if we don't stop this thing now with Zim's help there might not _be_ a mankind left. Or, at the very least, a significant amount of cities." Leaving the room with that parting temptation, Gaz descended the flight of stairs and headed towards the end of house both siblings seldom entered. Stopping before the shiny steel barrier with a plaque that read "Membrane home labs" Gaz turned the handle and opened the heavy door.

It was pitch black inside, and she fumbled around for a light switch on the cold wall. Flipping it, rows of fluorescent lights illuminated tables of laboratory equipment and computer monitors not so different looking from Zim's base in terms of spiffy advanced appearance. Walking through the rows of science-y stuff, Gaz headed down the impossibly large underground facility to the back half of the lab. At the end of the spacious room was an excessively large door that had imposing black letters printed on it- "PROJECT DOOMSDAY. DO NOT ENTER."

Blatantly ignoring the warning, Gaz turned the handle and dug her shoulder against the door, heaving the monstrosity open a few inches. Deciding a few inches was all she needed, she slipped inside and flipped another found light switch. This room was smaller than the main lab, but only one object sat dormant in it- a bulky shape covered by a dusty tan tarp. Shoes echoing eerily within the metal confines, Gaz stopped short as she heard a noise behind her.

"Hey, a little help Gaz? My head is stuck."

The girl rolled her eyes, but marched back to the door and pried it open a little farther, Dib's head fitting through the gap with a bruise-inducing scrape. Leaving her hippo-headed brother behind to rub his new injury, Gaz grabbed the tarp and yanked it off.

Both siblings looked up and gawked in astonishment.

"It… certainly makes Zim's look like a pile of dookie." Gaz muttered, taking in the sleek form.

The battlebot put Zim's to shame in terms of appearance, but Gaz assumed its technology was millennia behind the Irken's. Bipedal like Zim's but with large feet to compensate for primitive balance, the robot had a muted gray metallic color and Plexiglas windshield. Equipped with various exploding, shooting, dangerous paraphernalia, Gaz could easily see why her father had sealed it away from the world. This thing might not be perfect or indestructible, but it could still cause some serious damage before being totaled.

Grinning, Gaz walked behind it and climbed small metal rungs to the top. Zim would shit himself when he saw his "human relation" and arch nemesis come to aid him. Opening the hatch at the top and sliding in, she saw Dib giving the robot a dubious look through the blue tinted glass. Flashing him a thumbs up, she almost chuckled when he stepped beyond the door and only kept his head partially through to watch Gaz attempt to pilot the machinery from safety. This however also meant he got to observe in amusement as she snooped around for the keys in frustration, finally finding them hanging on a small peg on the left of the tiny control pod. Snatching them, she studied the control board. Two levers obviously acted as leg controls while another two served as arms, and every button was labeled something asinine- "Death Cannon" and "Ray of Death" and "Oh-Damn-This-Will-Kill-You-So-Hard", to name a few. Thrusting the keys in the ignition, Gaz twisted them and waited in anticipation for the robot to power up.

Power up it did with a loud electrical-sounding zap, and an idle buzzing noise signified the robot ran on some sort of electricity her father had managed to harness and make efficient for running a large combat mech. Shakily making the robot take a few lumbering steps that quaked the room, Gaz quickly got a feel for the mech's gait and handling, and within minutes was maneuvering it around the room in small strides.

"Dib! This is just like a video game!" Gaz's voice called out excitedly from a speaker somewhere on the robot, and Dib crept farther out from his hiding place and watched in interest as a debate raged in his mind. Helping Zim was a kick to his pride almost as bad as a similar one to the groin, but if he wanted to have a city to return home to…

"I'm going to run routine maintenance on Tak's ship. You keep practicing with this thing, but don't blow anything up! We'll save that for later." Dib cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, hoping Gaz could hear him.

The robot stopped moving, and Gaz took her concentration from the controls to give Dib a small, rare smile. "It's about time you actually did something cool. We'll leave in an hour- most of the city should be evacuated by then, and that's when Zim's heading out too."

Dib nodded, and squeezed through the door opening and out of the lab, heading for the garage at an excited run. Finally, an excuse to actually _use_ the weapons on Tak's ship! He'd had his eye on the Volt Beam for some time now…

* * *

"It's Frankenchokey!"

"Grrr… It most certainly is _not!_ I think it looks pretty good given the circumstances." Zim protested, crossing his arms and sticking his lower lip out. Yeah, the bot was a little hobbled together, but he'd hidden some pretty cool weapons on the thing. Not to mention the fifteen minutes it took to paint the large Irken insignia on the front was _completely_ necessary and worthwhile.

"_It's gonna bake you a cake!_" Gir shouted at Zim's antennae, making the Irken wince and rub them in pain.

"I hope it does, Gir. I hope it bakes Zim a powerful supreme cake of _DEATH!_ AAAHAHAHAHAA!" Zim shook his claws in the air, enjoying the old feel of psychotic evil laughter that had ceased years ago along with his mission. It might not have been directed at his latest plot to destroy the Earth but the ritual invigorated him, sending long-dead Invader blood marching through his veins in searing anticipation.

"Gir. Do a bioscan of the city- are all the filthy humans gone? Zim is eager for _destruction_."

Gir's eyes blinked red for a moment as he swiveled his head in a robotically precise circle, and they faded back to blue with an excited "Ya huh!"

"DELICIOUS!" Zim declared, climbing up the robot. Before sliding onto his pilot's seat and locking the hatch shut above him however, he fixed Gir with an intense stare. Mindless blue orbs stared back at him, red and cyan facing off in a staring contest. "Gir. Stay **here**." He commanded, never breaking contact with the android.

A pink tongue sliding out with a squeak told Zim all he wanted to know, and the Irken sighed as he locked the hatch in place above him. Eyes narrowing, he powered up the robot and suppressed a shiver of delight. The memories of his sweet annihilation of Irk came flooding back to him, the fact that he'd caused destruction on the overwhelming scale that he had overriding the fact he knew it had been upon his own planet.

And here he sat again, in a slightly smaller but still deadly robot awaiting the fire and explosions and missiles to come as the pavement of the cul-de-sac in front of his house split open in much the same way his roof was designed to do. A platform raised him and his battlemech up from the murky bowels of his lab, and Zim licked his lips eagerly as he stomped off it and into a sector of the city a safe distance from his base and the Membrane household.

Plowing through the deserted city, Zim's antennae tingled at the ominous quiet- the sprawling mecca of human construction was unnaturally silent without cars running, people talking, or horns honking. Growing impatient with the delay in action, Zim humphed and slouched back in his seat. Had his Tallests really sent a death machine after him, or was this just their final way of messing with him?

He'd tried so hard to be a good invader- he really had! But the Tallests had taken his loyalty and thrown it back in his face, and Zim would never understand why. So _what_ if he was incompetent? At least he had been incompetent here on Earth out of the way, not messing things up on Irk! If the Tallests had let him continue his false mission, he would still be content and occupied.

Zim studied the fabric of his glove thoughtfully. On the flip side, if he'd still been trying to destroy the Earth, he'd have never entered into such an agreement with Gaz in the first place even if it was for the sheer purpose of annoying the piss out of Dib. Perhaps, in a twisted sort of way, he had his Tallests to thank for that.

An earthshaking explosion nearby brought the alien out of his ruminations as a flash lit up the northern sky, and he took off for it in his robot at a lumbering run. A turn here, punching a car out of the way there, AAGGH! DOG WITH MEAT! A skid _around_ the demon dog, and Zim clanked to a halt before it.

A smoking crater of ruin devastated the middle of the highway, and Zim peered through the dust and smoke billowing from the indentation warily. And when the smoke cleared…

There was...

"Are you pulling my antennae!? The Tallests sent me their own personal voodoo doll of me? That… that's just _insulting!_ I can't fight a doll!" Zim thundered, bringing the foot of his battlebot down and smashing it flat with a dying squeak coming from the offensive plushie.

"Hey! We made that just for you!" Purple's insulted voice emanated from some point on the side of a building, and Zim whipped his head around searching for the source. A cracking of stone was heard, and he saw a nearby building lose a chunk out of it a second too late.

The wind was knocked out of his chest as his robot was thrown back against a skoolbus and Zim smacked into the interior of the control room, and the Irken coughed and drew in a shuddering breath of air. Reseating himself, he gripped the controls and righted himself resolutely. The invisible enemy was cloaked well, but Zim leered as he flipped up a covered button on his far right. He'd dealt with the Megadoomer's original faulty schematics once, and only he knew the invisibility shield's second weakness.

"Take this! A faceful of MY NEIGHBOR'S WET GRASS CLIPPINGS!" Zim crowed as a hose snaked around from a small tank on the back of his robot. A shower of the twirling hacked up blades danced and settled over the area, and the ex-invader's eyes darted back and forth as he waited.

At last it came- a movement, barely a twitch off to the side, but a twitch nonetheless.

"A-HA!" Zim interjected, firing a few rounds from the human weapon Gir had called a "machine gun." A rapid plinking sound indicated he was indeed striking the invisible robot, and he only stopped when a familiar groan eked out.

"Ughhh. Zim, you do you always have to ruin our fun?" Red's voice drifted from the area of space that was indistinguishable from the air around it, save for the little grass pieces stuck all over it.

"Because I'm your personal thorn in the side." Zim answered simply, making a dismissive gesture with his hand. "You might as well give up on the whole invisibility thing- don't you agree it would be cooler for me to fight a robot than a bunch of floating plant pieces anyway?"

A shimmering was Zim's answer as the Megadoomer 2000 phased into view.

An impressive specimen, Zim couldn't push away the little knot of anxiety forming in his squeedlyspooch at the sight of the machine. A russet red color with a brighter red Irken insignia emblazoned on the chest area, the robot had a more defined android figure than Zim's battlebot. Its small upper center indicated a physical pilot was absent, and its entire body was made out of some high grade of metal- and the fact that only a few external weapons were apparent unnerved Zim. It wasn't like the Tallests to hide their artillery…

"_Clank!" "Chink!" "Ka-chunk!"_

Zim nodded in affirmation of his justified paranoia as various weapons unfolded from hidden compartments, and wasted no time. Firing off a Pulse Bomb, he gripped the controls as he evaluated the damage. Antennae drooping, Zim ignored the Tallests' laughter at the unscathed Megadoomer. However, the solution was obvious- he'd just have to use _MORE BOMBS_.

Mashing the button on the console, Zim rubbed his hands together in glee until a choked gasp cut off his premature victory.

The Megadoomer had sprung forward and ripped off the Pulse cannon, grinding it into the ground while pitching back an arm with a retractable blade on the end in one fluid sequence.

Zim's mind went blank with denial and disappointment as the blade seared forward toward the glass of his pilot's pod. The battle had barely begun and already his Tallests were trying to sweep him out of the way at their earliest convenience! Holding up both his "middle" fingers, Zim determined he wouldn't go down without a lasting insult in the very least.

When the tinkle of shattering glass didn't occur, a grating sound like steel under too much stress took its place and had the Irken clutching his antennae in agony as he cracked open an eyelid at a "snap!" and clatter below him.

Before him stood a well-built but still plainly human-created robot of similar make to Zim's and the Megadoomer, dull gray color pallidly reflecting the sun as the hand that had closed around and broken the blade end flexed to reveal sparking circuits and rent metal.

"Who is this!? I DEMAND you identify yourself or face the terrible wrath of ZIIIM!" He immediately squawked, taking aim at the unknown arrival.

"Stop yelling, you dunce!"

The familiar voice drifted not from outside, but rather from inside Zim's cabin. A comm link had been established, and Gaz's sultry voice crackled through with as much authority as she could muster while fending off an updated Megadoomer.

"Gaz! Why you-! I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE!" Zim roared, swiftly joining Gaz in trading blows with their enemy.

"What made you think I'd _listen?_" Gaz retorted, knocking the Doomer's feet out from under it with an improvised sweeping kick.

"Because…! Dammit human, of all the times to ever ignore me, you choose this one!?" Zim fumed while bashing the Megadoomer over the "head" with a nearby car.

Dib watched from his place in the sky as his sister made her entrance, listening through his own comm link to Zim's little fit with a grin plastered on his face. He observed in interest as their tempers rose, noting the fact that both increased the level and power of hits against their common foe while still managing to bicker at each other like wrinkly old ladies with startlingly bad potty mouths.

A laser blast from the Megadoomer had Gaz evasively sidestepping, but while her attention was diverted the robot lashed out an arm at Zim, sending his battlemech back a few feet and toppling over. Dib could practically feel his sister's desperation through the strained "No!" through the intercom, and decided now would be as good a time to join the match as any.

Flying down from the cloud bank he'd been tucked away in, Dib waited for the targeting system to achieve a definitive lock-on before loosing the grappling claw. The pronged claw sailed through the air with deadly accuracy and snapped shut around the robot's ankle, and Dib couldn't have been more pleased as he sped by in his ship and the Megadoomer was sent flailing into the side of a brick building. Retracting the claw, Dib picked up a few cars and flung them at the dusty hole in the wall for good measure before hovering closer to Zim's position to receive the earful he knew was to come.

"You DARE fight _with_ me on MY battlefield!? I'd destroy you if I wasn't busy trying not to die!" Zim screeched in pure rage, shaking a fist as though he'd be able to obliterate Dib from sheer force of will. Pressed up ranting against the glass of his battlebot's windshield with antennae pinned back, Zim looked so ridiculously angry it was _funny_.

"You should be more grateful, you lizard! If it wasn't for me, you'd be a smelly little pile of charred-" Dib never got to finish his sentence. A screeching metal sound was heard as the Megadoomer 2000 hauled itself out from under the pile of cars, and the smell of gasoline laced the air as gastanks ruptured and leaked.

"Oh shit." Dib mumbled quietly, flying a few yards away to a relatively safe distance. Zim's robot had picked itself up and resumed its defensive stance, but a spine chilling cackle from the Irken heralded the charging sound of one of the numerous weapons on his machine. Dib shielded his eyes as a blast of something shot out of a cannon on the robot's arm, and he squinted through his fingers to see if any damage had been done.

All combatants made respective noises of dismay as only a smudgy black spot indicated the Megadoomer had been shot at all.

"Zim, we're here now so deal with it. Any ideas on taking this thing down?" Gaz groused, looking through the barrier of her own robot to lock with Zim's burning red eyes.

"Uh… not… at the moment?" Zim stuttered, backing up a few paces as something on the Megadoomer began to glow.

"So what the hell do we do, space freak?" Dib interrupted, aiming a laser blast of his own to intercept the Megadoomer's. Changing his mind at the last second Dib smirked as he pressed the Volt Beam button on the dash, and watched excitedly as a bright blue ray of energy struck the Megadoomer's own bolt. A cloud of dust erupted with a loud boom, and Dib felt the shockwaves even from his vantage point in the sky.

"DO NOT HELP ME, YOU WORM! And I don't know, shoot it! And stuff!" Zim bellowed, growing tired of blocking blows and dodging lasers. Growling, the Irken hauled his robot forward to crash with the Megadoomer in an earsplitting screech of metal on metal, bludgeoning it with his mech's arms mercilessly. Dents in the Doomer's exterior gradually appeared as Zim sparked with anger. "Are you watching, _my Tallest?_ I'm going to tear out your brains and feed them to my robot!" Zim barked, snarling at the Megadoomer as he rained curses in various languages and blows down upon it.

Gaz and Dib remained off to the side, silently watching.

"You know… I'm kind of glad I never made him this pissed at me." Dib whispered, and Gaz mutely nodded. Zim was so furious he was practically spitting like an ornery cat, and Gaz decided to let his blind assault proceed without interference. Borne of every negative emotion for his leaders that he'd kept bottled up tight, if the explosive release came in the form of beating their enemy to death with only giant metal robot fists, well, who was she to stop him?

"And just for you, my Tallests!" Zim seethed, bringing a fist down on the head of the Doomer. A resounding crack was heard followed by an unusual word presumably in Irken, and Zim smiled wickedly.

* * *

_Back on the Massive…_

"HEY! THAT WAS _UNNECESSARILY_ FOUL LANGUAGE! Did you HEAR what he SAID!?" Red shouted, voice echoing indignantly through the Massive's control room.

A technician in the background fainted, and Purple's eyelid twitched. "I had no idea Zim even knew that word! That… I can't believe he actually _said_ that!"

The two Tallests watched the screen with mouths agape, food chunks falling out of them to the floor. They had an excellent view of Zim's enraged visage, and the feed would flicker and jerk with every blow.

"Pur… do you think Zim will actually win this?" Red asked slowly, shoving another doughnut in his mouth despite his revulsion at Zim's swear word.

"I don't know, Red. Either way he'll leave us alone, but seeing him as a little green smear on the ground would be a nice highlight to my day." Purple responded, cramming a fistful of popcorn in his face and gobbling obnoxiously.

* * *

Zim's barrage was halted by the Megadoomer kicking his bot off and jumping to its feet with a loud clang, and the Irken hissed in satisfaction at the damage he'd caused. Of course, his own robot's arm was a mangled piece of junk now, but seeing the scrapes and dents along the Megadoomer 2000's surface made it worth the sacrifice. "Gaz! Dib monkey!" He demanded loudly, backpedaling to buy more time.

"Yeah?"

"I'm not a monkey! Now what do you want?"

Both siblings responded in turn, and Zim huffed. "You are too a monkey, Dib. An ugly, smelly, disgusting, putrid-" Zim was cut off by the whooshing of a metal appendage swiping by him, and he shoved the Doomer away. "MONKEY!" He finished, and pouted childishly at Dib's flat expression. "Anyway, as I was saying before the _Dib-monkey_ interrupted, I have discovered a weak spot!" He exclaimed, shooting off a few rounds of plasma beams to keep the relentless enemy at bay.

"Oh yeah? And what would that be, Zim?" Dib drawled sarcastically, ignoring Zim's spluttering of outrage when he attached his hook to the Irken's battlemech and tugged it aside a few feet to avoid a crushing punch.

"Insolent little…! Rrrgh, the base of the head, Dib smell! I created a rather _magnificent _dent there, and if one of us can manage to fire something at the spot, it might be enough to punch through and sever lower body circuit links." Zim ground out, holding back a grunt of discomfort as he was tossed in his seat by a well-placed kick.

"On it." Gaz and Dib said through the comm link, and Zim was about to give the go ahead in turn when his eyes widened in horror. "Sibling spawns, no! Wait!"

His warning came too late. Dib zipped forward in his speedy little spittle runner, and Gaz extended an arm blade and clomped forward to sever the head as the Megadoomer remained suspiciously still. In a fraction of a second, Dib had exposed the neck circuitry with a blast in the same instant Gaz had hacked the lower body almost completely off at its thin middle and Zim had surged forward to bowl Gaz out of the way.

An explosion blasted the area, and Zim couldn't hold back a howl of pain as he covered his antennae and cringed away from the fracturing glass of his battlebot. A searing pain shot through his forearm, and he instinctively clapped a hand over it to yank out the shrapnel lodged deeply in the green skin. Dimly, he was aware that it was only because of the glass he hadn't ended up a bludgeoned smear because of flung debris like the rest of his robot, or like…

"Dib sister! Dib!" He called out into the city. It seemed as if a blanket of wool had been wrapped around his antennae, and things were muffled and surreal. Nearby buildings looked like weathered rocks, bricks missing and objects stuck into them haphazardly. Not a single car wasn't overturned and beeping, and lampposts and signs and anything within a radius of the Megadoomer's self-destruction were blown outward. Fine dust and ash floated through the air in a haze, and Zim waved away the pollution as he scanned the wreckage.

Antennae twitching unbidden at something a few to the right, Zim whirled toward it and stumbled over. A tapping sound issued from under a sheet of warped metal leaned against a pile of…no, that wasn't a pile- it was Gaz's robot.

_Was._

Wrenching aside the metal and offering Gaz a hand out of the remains of her battlebot, Zim mutely pointed to a rivulet of blood running down the side of her head.

"I think one of my eardrums burst…" Gaz murmured, and Zim nodded sympathetically. His antennae were already readjusting, but those little membranes in human ears were far more fragile and not immediately repairable. Riddled with other tiny cuts and bruises, Gaz had been insulated from the worst of the blast by her robot's metal pilot cage and shatter-resistant… whatever that bendy glass stuff was.

"_Good. She is mostly unharmed."_ Zim thought, sparing an instant to nuzzle her in relief with a quiet hum.

"Where's my brother? I could have sworn I saw him escape the majority of that explosion." Gaz asked Zim, knowing the Irken's superior hearing (even when damaged) was still better than that of a human's.

Zim tilted his head and triangulated Dib's position before answering. "Somewhere over there. He's saying something along the lines of… Oh. No, I won't repeat that. But he's fine, if his cursing is anything to go by."

Gaz let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. Man, her ear hurt like a _bitch._

Catching sight of the arm Zim had kept tucked against his side like a bird's wounded wing, Gaz snatched it and knitted her eyebrows at the oddly colored pink clearish blood. That looked deep, and probably hurt worse than her ear as Zim's wince indicated. Pulling his arm back, Zim pinned it against his body again and lowered his antennae unevenly.

"I'll instinctively want to keep this away from you, sorry." The Irken explained apologetically, smothering his instinct to seek solitude and tend his wound somewhere small, dark, and alone. Opening his mouth to suggest they find the Dib, a sudden rumble rattled chips of cement on the ground. "Gaz…" He began slowly, raising his eyes to the pile of debris in the center of the explosion. "We… we're not done yet." He finished, swearing crossly as two metal arms hauled themselves and an upper body out of the rubble.

Gaz looked aghast at the reappearance of part of something that should have exploded, and a short scream escaped when a chunk of pavement was hurled at her. Jumping out of the way, the girl was grabbed by the arm by Zim and ordered a terse "This way!" before being dragged towards an alley between two intact apartments.

"This is ridiculous!" Gaz gasped, ducking behind a wall with Zim and panting. "The thing literally _doesn't have legs_ anymore, but it's still trying to claw its way after us!"

Zim put pressure on the cut on his arm to stem the seeping blood, glaring in the direction of the steadily approaching noise. "Irkens are nothing if not tenacious." He muttered. "That thing was probably programmed to explode if its lower half was compromised- I should have guessed." Sleek antennae pricked alertly up when the sound abruptly stopped. "…Where did it go?" He whispered, tilting his head to listen. Daring to peek around the corner of the building, Gaz resisted smacking her forehead with her palm at his stupid decision.

"Aagh!" The Irken immediately yelped, ducking back around the side when an arm chopped down where his head had been seconds ago. Gaz backed up and watched helplessly as the Megadoomer's torso lurched into view, and Zim let out a low growl and extended his spider legs. The neck circuitry was exposed! All he had to do was snip a few lines and the thing would lose complete use of its arms and be rendered immobile!

Throwing all his concentration into manipulating his additional four limbs, Zim leapt up and over the Megadoomer's sparking torso and spun an immediate 180, lashing out at… nothing. Eyes focusing on where the Doomer should be, Zim snapped his head up and drew in a despairing breath as he saw Gaz glaring up at the Doomer's raised fist with a mixture of fear and resentment.

"Gaz!" Zim called out, feeling a sickening twist in his squeedlyspooch as the Megadoomer brought its arm down. Things seemed to move in slow motion- Gaz trying in vain to hurl herself away, the sunlight glinting off the robot's arm, Dib's ladylike shriek from some distance…

"SCARY LADYYYYY!" A piercingly shrill voice split the moment, and time sped back up as a silvery blur rocketed into the path of the descending arm. A nauseating crunch was heard, and the Doomer lifted its arm to calculate the casualty it had doubtlessly inflicted.

Gir's little body lay limp in the small crater created by the pounding fist, and Gaz and Zim stood frozen at the sight. His cyan eyes blinked and flickered, and a shower of electric sparks fizzed from a wrenched wire exposed by the crack in his chest. He was banged up and scratched looking, normally smooth and featureless grayish metal contorted and scraped from the collision.

"Gaz! Gaz, are you… oh." Dib broke off, also seeing Gir's still form. Silence reigned for a few seconds, and all three beings slowly looked up at the Megadoomer. Fire blazed in each pair of eyes- one a molten amber, another a darker shade of the same behind scuffed glasses, and the third an inferno of unspeakably angry crimson.

Zim and Gaz saw red tint the edges of their vision, and Dib bit back a curse as they both screamed and launched themselves at the robot. Gaz clawed and kicked any possible place, and a small glint of metal indicated she'd pullet her pocketknife out and added it to the mix. Zim was scarily calm, methodically stabbing holes in the Megadoomer's hull with each spider leg while ripping off his gloves. Claws exposed, he dragged them down the Megadoomer with a nails-on-chalkboard screech, and Dib looked around frantically. Both of them had lost themselves to hurt and revenge, and it seemed he was the only one left who was sane enough to remember all they had to do was sever some electronics.

Spying a twisted piece of shrapnel embedded in the neighboring building's wall, Dib darted for it and snatched it up, ignoring the sting of pain in his hands that erupted from the sharp metal edges biting into his skin. Hefting the bulky piece, he glared at the robot that was waving its arms around in an attempt to dislodge the murderously violent creatures attached to it. Dib took a final look at Gir, and his mouth hardened into a tight line of anger. He'd _liked_ that stupid little robot.

With an unintelligible warcall, Dib sprang forward and slashed at the Megadoomer's neck with reckless abandon. Wires split and pneumatic hoses popped and hissed, sparks flying and frayed electrical line dancing wildly with the motion. Zim and Gaz, through their hazes of mindless destruction, saw Dib and locked eyes. Nodding, Zim plunged his spider legs into the circuitry and clawed at anything he could get reach, ignoring the electrical shocks and burns beginning to mar his hands. Gaz copied in a similar manner with her pocketknife, sounds of choked back rage escaping as she stabbed for all she was worth.

And then, the robot went stiff.

A groaning sound was heard, and the three combatants held stone still with respective weapons raised to continue the attack. Slowly, ever so slowly, the Megadoomer pitched forward and collapsed on the asphalt with a resounding boom. Nobody moved for what felt like an eternity, each refusing to believe it was over. A heavy quiet floated over the scene, and slowly each being unclenched their muscles and began to step down from the Megadoomer 2000's defeated metal husk.

"Gir…" The name came out as barely a breath, and Gaz dropped her knife and trudged over to the android, kneeling down beside it.

Zim followed suit, and gently wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Dib watched from afar, but felt the pricking at his eyes and angrily swiped at them before shoving his hands deep in his trench coat pockets and hunching his shoulders.

"Gaz… I can fix him. It'll take a while, and the work will be delicate, but… he's not gone." Zim informed the girl, and Gaz shot him a disbelieving look.

"The _exact _way he was? With the rubber pigs, and exploding, and screaming and everything?" Gaz's voice was tight with thinly concealed hope, and she cradled the hollow looking robot close.

Zim nodded, and took the android from her carefully. "I wouldn't call it fixing him, in that case. More like restoring him." He commented playfully, enjoying the hiccuping laugh he elicited from the teen as she took his offered hand and stood up.

Gaz looked at the robot that had been the cause of all this hardship and calamity as the trio walked past it, and delivered a ringing kick to its side.

"Stupid junk. It never stood a chance." She drawled, giving up her search for Zim's hand when she realized she was walking on his injured side and his arm was still tucked against himself.

"Indeed not! For we _are_ AQUAMEN!" Zim declared, voice carrying over the expanse of silent city with trumpeting authority.

Gaz rolled her eyes. Aquaman was arguably the _worst_ of the superheros- would Zim ever figure Earth's nuances out? Shrugging, she put a hand behind Zim's neck and pulled him the few inches necessary down to her level and kissed him. Eternally out of the loop or not, he was certainly never boring.

The moment was short lived thanks to a titanically headed meat child. "Seriously!? We just beat a giant metal robot of death-"

"Doom, not death." Zim interrupted between kisses.

Dib rolled his eyes, but continued "-a robot of _doom_, and you guys don't even have the decency to do that… somewhere else?"

Zim assumed a haughty smile of triumph, and shook his head no. "I have conquered your sister unit and there is nothing you can do about it, _Dib-monkey._"

Dib made a couple strangled whistling noises like a pressurized teakettle as Zim captured Gaz's lips _again_, with the clear intent of aggravating him. And his evil little sister was going along with it! Grumbling and stomping back to the wreckage of Tak's ship to see if he could patch it up enough to sputter home, Dib ignored the dark chuckles emanating from behind him.

Secretly smiling as he began poking around the wreckage and doing a damage assessment, Dib tossed a quick glance over his shoulder and saw Gaz placing Zim's wig on his head despite the ex-Invader's protests. Firing up the emergency temporary engines, Dib got comfortable in the cockpit as he saw Zim tugging Gaz down the torn up, destroyed, smoking ruin of a street towards his subdivision of the city.

Dib shook his head in a "well, what can ya' do?" manner and took off jerkily into the sky towards home. Heh. Those maniacs were perfect for each other.

* * *

"Quiet! I'm doing the best I can. I have to be careful with these wires near his personality chip if I want him to be the same when he reboots." Zim scolded Gaz when she asked for the 59th time if Gir was fixed yet.

"Psh." Was Gaz's sarcastic response, and she resumed hovering over the makeshift work table/operating table in interest.

Zim's tongue poked out the side of his mouth in concentration as he reattached small cords, and Gaz leaned in excitedly. If she'd been listening right, that was the cord that would-"

"WHERE HE GO? I WAS GONNA EAT IM'!" Gir screamed into Zim's face, and the Irken made a fake look of displeasure at the familiar maniacal tone. Gaz covered her tender eardrum, but seeing the android fully operational (sort of) was a great occurrence. His repaired body gleamed with polish and his non-cracked cyan eyes glowed brightly, and he smiled expansively at Gaz while Zim stuffed armfuls of cotton padding around the delicate circuitry before welding Gir's little blue chest plate shut again.

"There. He's fixed." Zim announced, quirking a nonexistent eyebrow as Gir launched himself off the table and into Gaz's arms. "Eh… kinda." The Irken amended, smiling despite himself.

Gaz patted Gir's head as the robot burrowed into her embrace, and Zim barely picked up the quiet "Thank you." She whispered to the snuggling bot. Gir chewed a piece of her hair for a second, and hopped out of Gaz's arms and rolled away across the floor before she could break one of his newly replaced eyes for the transgression.

"Hmm… there's something we still have to do." Zim tapped his chin and swept around down a hall, and Gaz cracked a malicious grin and followed.

She'd been waiting for him to say those words for days now.

Stopping at her Irken companion's side in his main computer room, Gaz didn't bother to attempt to keep the grin off her face and freely let her smugness show. Zim tapped a few of the keys with Irken symbols, and Gaz felt like her Cheshire cat smile would break her face as the transmission feed patched through to the announcement hall on Irk.

From the monitor display they were given a panoramic view of the pandemonium they had incited by sending the Megadoomer's destroyed torso back to Irk with a prerecorded message for the race- and the room was currently being trashed by mobs of furious looking Irkens stampeding through the hall.

Outside the windows, the planet's surface and a few buildings could be seen; buildings which were, at the moment, crashing down or ablaze. Zim linked hands with Gaz as audio connections were established, and a dull roaring was heard. Individual furious voices were easy to pick out as Irkens rioted, and Gaz nodded in satisfaction at the calls they heard- "Where are the Tallests!? They need to answer for their Pak tampering!" and "Down with loyalty codes!" to pick a few.

Zim's antennae were set back at a comfortably pleased angle as he watched the revolution he had single handedly caused unfold. Irk was in turmoil, but his people would sort the issue out quickly. Irkens may not have had to adapt to changes like these for many millennia, but Zim had confidence they would manage- and hopefully the mistakes of the past would echo through when a new governing system was set up, and Irkens would decide for _themselves_ who they wanted to rule.

Gaz rubbed one of Zim's antennas happily, eliciting a hum out of the alien as he leaned into her touch. A few of the rioting Irkens in the hall had noticed Zim's transmission on the far wall, and a large majority gave grudging bows to their unexpected enlightener. Zim nodded in return, and silently bade his planet good luck as he terminated the link. He'd seen all he'd needed to; Irk was in better hands now.

"Hey, I'm hungry. I was thinking… Bloaty's?" Gaz nudged Zim's side, and the Irken groaned.

"That horrible sweaty grease hog?" He asked in dread, and Gaz excitedly nodded. Sighing, Zim ran a hand along his antenna and directed his misery to the ceiling as he mumbled incoherently at the air.

"I'll buy." Gaz offered, pulling Zim down the hall that led back to the elevator.

Zim caught up and matched pace with Gaz, running a thumb across the back of her hand. "That won't be necessary. We're splitting the bill, as usual." The Irken asserted, and Gaz gave an antenna a playful thwack. Receiving mussed up hair in return as they stepped onto the elevator, Gaz held Zim contentedly as the Irken rubbed circles along her back and tucked her head under his.

A life-threatening battle and world revolution born from a not-so-innocent desire by two pessimistic beings to be assholes to Dib.

Zim smirked to himself, teeth shining in the dim red elevator light and breathing in Gaz's familiar scent as the lift smoothly rode up.

That agreement with Gaz had definitely been the best deal he'd ever made.

~~~End~~~

* * *

Yaaaay! *fireworks* Sooo, this is the end! Sorry putting it up took so long, but I proofread it a whole lot and school started up again- and I have college classes now too. But yeah, I hope you guys like the ending I wrote. Seriously though, drop me a review and tell me what you think, even if its something nice and short; I love hearing from you guys! :D And as usual, check my main author page for more updates- I'm going to be writing more stories in the future, and I'll be putting on there around when chapters/stories will be posted.

Thanks everybody! Leave me a review because they make me smile! :D :D :D (and even if you think I might not see it, I will- I _still_ see reviews people post on my Bleach stories on my million-year-old other account. So do let me know what you think! :)


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